Habitual lateness. Extreme disorganization. Not following up on sales leads. Yo-yo dieting. Self-sabotage takes on a variety of guises and affects people of all ages, professions and economic levels. But it always leads to our not living the life we want for ourselves.
Take this Self-Quiz to see whether you might be working against yourself in some areas.
- It takes me at least a half hour to locate a document I need to send to someone.
- I can be indecisive and fearful; as a result, chances often pass me by.
- I tend to start projects with great gusto but have great difficulty finishing them.
- My financial situation is chronically chaotic.
- My actions often jeopardize my relationships, my job and/or my financial stability.
- I worry a lot about what others think of me.
- I tend to give in to compulsive behaviors to overeat or partake excessively of unhealthy substances or activities.
- I have always been a yo-yo dieter. I live through a black and white lens.
- I’ve been told I have a problem expressing anger appropriately.
- I often put off the things I need and want to do. Procrastination and reliability are problems for me.
- I’m still not living the life I truly want, and I’m starting to lose hope that I ever will.
- When I really want to do something, I frequently have the thought that I can’t or shouldn’t do it.
- My relationships tend to eventually fall apart, or I stay in unhealthy relationships.
- When I think about working out, I immediately start thinking about all the other things I “should” be doing instead. Exercise rarely wins.
- I’m often late to work and late with assignments; this has hurt my career.
- I avoid confrontation and/or fawn over others in order to be liked and win their favor.
- I repeatedly make self-deprecating, belittling comments about myself.
- I know I have the potential to do more with my life if I could just get out of my own way.
How many of these statements can you relate to?
If you could identify with more than five, you may want to consider getting support outside of yourself.
Self-defeating behaviors often mask a fear of change and growing; when we deliberately hamper our own efforts, we get to avoid the knowledge that our life is up to us and that we do, indeed, get to choose.
Just imagine the life we could be having if we put as much energy and creativity into manifesting our goals as we do avoiding them. It’s not easy to change self-sabotaging patterns, but with time and practice—and a good dose of self-love—it is possible to end a self-defeating cycle and live the life we truly want for ourselves.
And in a constant state of confusion, indecision and self-degradation.
Please comment below and ask me how you can begin on a new path which can lead you out of self-sabotage and into what you really want. You can do this.
Laura Fenamore, Body Image Expert, Coach and acclaimed Author is on a mission to help women around the world end the constant battle with their bodies and start adoring who they see in the mirror. Her approach walks students and readers through the heartfelt journey to self-love at any size or age by unlocking the secrets to a lifetime of emotional, physical and spiritual health. After overcoming a lifelong battle with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released 100 pounds – keeping it off for more than 28 years. She chronicles this journey to self-love and health in her widely acclaimed book, Skinny, Fat, Perfect: Love Who You See in the Mirror. Learn more about Laura’s programs, or invite her to speak by visiting SkinnyFatPertect.com.
Image courtesy of Nico Bori.