“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” – Theodore Rubin
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – M. Kathleen Casey
How would you like to be free from suffering? That sounds incredible, doesn’t it? Well, it is absolutely possible if you are willing to give up your thoughts that are creating your suffering. I know that you know that you do not have total control over what happens in your life. And I know you know that there is what happens and then there is how you respond to what is happening.
Your thoughts and judgments about what is happening (or isn’t happening) is most likely causing you far more angst than what is actually happening. The awesome news is that is you have 100% control over your thoughts even when you have 0% control over a current situation.
You create suffering whenever you become invested in a desired outcome, plan or opinion. It is the opposite of acceptance and surrender – where there is NO suffering.
Consider that you are creating suffering because you are buying into some assumption. For example, if you are suffering from being single you are probably buying into the belief that being with a partner would be better. How do you know? Or perhaps you are suffering over your finances and think money would relieve all your stress. Again, how do you know?
Perhaps everything that is happening right now is the way it is because you are exactly where you need to be to learn what you need to learn and manifest what your Higher Self (not your ego) truly desires. And perhaps there is more joy, peace and abundance right in front of you that you aren’t seeing because you are paying more attention to what is missing.
Take a deep breath.
Let go of your assumptions that if things were different, they would be better.
Stop looking for what’s not there. Your judgments on your present and futuristic fantasies could be making you suffer unnecessarily. Life can be challenging enough, why create additional suffering?
Think about something you are struggling with and just for a moment let go of your desire for it to be any different.
Ask yourself, “How much of what I am suffering over is actually even real?” Often times when we are spending a lot of our mental energy on suffering, we cannot afford the enjoyment of the present moment and all the blessings that already are. Stretch yourself into seeing from the perspective that you influence your life, but you cannot control it. Surrender to what is happening rather than clinging to your expectations. Then notice your degree of suffering will begin to decrease.
Do you really want to continue spending your precious energy on suffering? My encouragement to you is to choose wiser investments.
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image Courtesy of Engi_Akyurt.