“If you truly want to change your life, you first must be willing to change your mind.” – Donald Altman
Just picture this: You feeling flow regardless of what you’re doing. Feeling Freedom regardless of the situation you’re in.
Just Imagine: You feeling blissed out, happy, passionate and free independent of your surroundings.
Yes, your surroundings will change as you change from within, but that’s not the goal here. The goal is to make you aware of the power you have ALREADY and ALWAYS available to you.
You tapping into this potential of yours isn’t dependent on your surroundings or the people in your life. It’s dependent on the following:
Feeling your Emotions
When you feel good, you’re thinking something that’s true for you. When you feel bad, you’re thinking something that’s not true for you. Although there’s a whole spectrum of emotions, the two ends of that spectrum “good” and “bad” is what you should focus on.
Pay attention to how you feel. When you feel a tension in your body, a negative mood taking you over, a snappy comment coming out of your mouth, an irritated sigh, get mindful about what you’re truly feeling, because it’s not true for who you truly are.
When you feel good, you’re tapping into thoughts and beliefs that are in line with who you truly are. Pay attention to those feelings as well as they are guiding you towards your True Self.
This sounds so easy and obvious but it’s a way of “using” your emotions that is so often overlooked. Because a lot of time we do things (either in our head with thoughts or with our actions) that don’t make us feel good, but we associate these feelings with the CONTENT of what we’re thinking or with the surroundings or people that we think about.
For example, for years have I been struggling with tension in my body. Especially my belly and midriff. I feel tension and I feel scared. I feel those emotions and their bodily reactions mildly as I’ve gotten so used to it. I always thought that I found it hard to deal with certain insecurities. For example, not knowing a certain outcome, or not exactly knowing how my day would go. I always thought it was related to a mild form of generalized anxiety.
But it didn’t matter what I tried, relaxation exercises, thoughts changing, etc, I kept feeling these tensions in my body as well as feeling scared and unsafe.
So, when I think something out of alignment with my True Self, being anxious most of the time must mean I’m thinking lots of thoughts NOT true for me. And the association I made with generalized anxiety never really hit the core of my issue as it wasn’t the right association to begin with.
So as my so-called “negative” emotions were still there, they were signaling to me I didn’t yet hit the core of my issue. They were guiding me towards what is truly right and what is truly wrong.
Paying attention to what you think
When you notice your emotions, then pay attention to what you’re thinking. When you feel bad, you’re thinking thoughts relating to lack, disempowerment, victimhood, scarcity, and unworthiness among others.
When you feel good, you’re thinking thoughts relating to abundance, love, compassion, and trust among others.
Depending on how these thoughts make you feel, they are either in line or not in line with your True Self.
So, coming back to my tensions and feeling scared. When I notice these feelings, I traced back my steps to the thought that initiated this feeling. In my case I had thoughts like: “I need to work hard to make things work”, or something like “I can never do this”, “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m afraid to get hurt”.
What I did, in the beginning, was associate my feelings and emotions to these thoughts. Which is primarily the right thing to do. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that these thoughts came from a belief I had about myself and the world. So instead of diving into that belief I tried to work with the thoughts. I tried to change them, I tried visualizing, I tried relaxation practices. But it felt like I was swimming against the current. As if I was “fighting” against something I could never win.
Tracking the thoughts is important, but realizing they are not the core issue is even more important. They are representations of your core limiting belief.
The thought you have accompanying your “negative” emotions encompass more than just the thought itself. Your negative emotions are signaling to you that the thoughts you have aren’t true for you. What isn’t true for you has nothing to do with the type of thought you have and everything to do with the belief that’s underlying this thought.
Finding your way to your beliefs
This is the most difficult part and where too many people get lost unfortunately. Lots of problems can be circumvented by simply finding your way to a belief that you’re holding on to. A belief is not the same as a thought. A thought like “I’m not good enough” can stem from a belief of Lack. This belief can be the source of many similar thoughts like “I’m not worthy”, “I will never make it”, “there’s not enough money”.
Another belief can be around “feeling unsafe”. This belief can be the source of similar thoughts like “I need to control everything”, “I need to work hard”, “it all comes down to me”, “I’m afraid to do this and that”
Thoughts will lead you to a belief that you’re holding on to and that is the source of many similar thoughts. By following the types of thoughts you have, by grouping them together, by seeing a similar thread amongst different thoughts, you can decipher the specific belief. You can find your way to a concept that you’re holding on to which is a breeding ground for all these different thoughts that don’t make you feel good (because they are not true for you).
The common thread amongst my thoughts was: Believing that “how I do things isn’t good enough and won’t get me anywhere”. This common thread, in my case, can be traced back to a belief of Lack of Love. I associated receiving Love by becoming a different person. So the belief was made there was a Lack of Love if I was myself.
So when you feel bad about a thought like “I can never be good enough” and this thought makes you feel scared and unsafe, it’s not about the “not being good enough” (it never is), but your negative emotions are signaling that what this thought represents (the belief of Lack of Love) is untrue for you.
Knowing that something like this is untrue for you, you can start your discovery journey to the beliefs that DO make you feel good. Thoughts that make you feel good, lead the way to your Core Beliefs true for your True Self. Core Beliefs always revolve around Trust, Abundance, and Connection. So thoughts that have similarities with these concepts usually make you feel good.
That doesn’t mean that the thought “I’m always loved” has the same effect on everybody. We are different of course so we all resonate in a different way. Thoughts like, “I’m always loved”, “Love is everywhere”, “Love is the only thing there is”, “Everything and everyone is Love” resonate differently for different people. So look for the thoughts that make YOU feel good. Keep searching and trying till you found the one that will lead you to YOUR true core belief.
On an ending Note.
Every problem and every thought can be seen as being part of the veil of illusion. Keeping you stuck on the superficial level of life and letting you pay attention to superficial things, concepts and problems.
At the same time, all these experiences are invitations for you to dive deep within and find your inner Freedom and inner Flow by working your way from the superficial level (thoughts) to the unconscious level (beliefs).
Flow because you will live your life congruently with who you truly are and Freedom because you’ve unchained yourself from the negative beliefs that keep you stuck in fear and anxiety.
When you uncover the beliefs that make you feel bad and work on living more and more from the beliefs that are true for you, you will experience more flow and more freedom.
Carmen Smallegange is a coach specialized in uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs. Using her own life lessons she shines a new and fresh light on negative experiences to empower others to do the same and to acknowledge and step into their own amazing potential. You can get her free workbook on how to transform your fears or follow her on Facebook.
Image courtesy of lightstargod.