Why Can’t You Lose Weight?

Overeating, weight-gain, difficulty dieting, and the seemingly insurmountable task of keeping the pounds off… These are serious challenges, faced by millions of people. Even with all the diets, exercise plans, and therapeutic approaches, we just can’t seem to get to the root of our weight problems. What are the issues, feelings and self-image problems that stand in the way of a healthy, balanced and harmonious relationship to food?

If something is still affecting you, and showing up as weight, you have not released it.

Combating weight is an emotional, psychological and spiritual journey. The body is integrated with the mind and when we separate and disconnect them, we lose our way. Compulsive eating can be seen as a weapon or tool of self-hatred against the body, but food is not an enemy. It’s the relationship and affinity that your mind has with your whole conscious being that is disrupted when weight is a problem. The goal is alignment and harmony of the energy between our bodies and our minds.

The Addiction

Addiction to food can exist to varying degrees, but any time we eat as a substitution for love or attention, or as self-medication, or as a way to hide, it is an unhealthy dependence and compulsion. As we uncover addiction, attachment to what we think we need to be happy and fulfilled, is revealed. Food often symbolizes attachment to so many emotions and things.

Unhealthy eating is when you are feeding your feelings, not your body. @DerekONeill101 (Click to Tweet!)

Once we let go of attachment in all facets of our lives and accept the flow of events that happen to us – no matter if we deem them good or bad – we can start to break free of attachment. Addiction loses its power when there isn’t any attachment to fuel it.

Identify the Root Cause

You may think you’ve touched upon the root causes of your weight issues, but if you are still struggling with weight, you need to go deeper and really examine the triggers that set off overeating. Contemplate the questions below, do your best to drop below the level of just generalizing about these themes, whichever relates to you, and unravel your life. Identify the feeling around events and issues in your life. Name them. Accept them.

  • Was food equated with love, comfort and consolation in your house?
  • Have events in your adult life surrounding issues of love brought you back to that dynamic in seeking to comfort yourself? Did you have a sibling that received more attention?
  • Did you want to be seen more, making yourself “bigger?”
  • Does isolating yourself and hiding behind the weight motivate you?
  • Are you using food to suppress negative feelings and/or memories?
  • What do you feel you are missing in your life and are you attempting (unsuccessfully!) to get it from food?

The path to a healthy connection to food is one of balance and forgiveness. It’s essential that fear be replaced with love, whether it’s fear of weight gain, relationships, or any other thing or emotion. Normalizing your dynamic with food can resonate in all areas of life. It’s up to you to embark on a journey of self-love and acceptance that will create the foundation for a new relationship to weight.

There is a pocket book series I have created called GET A GRIP that deals with topics such as weight, happiness, desire, addiction, anxiety etc. I encourage you to explore the ones that resonate with you, so you can gain deeper insights and strategies that can help you overcome even the toughest challenges in your life.



Derek O’Neill, fondly referred to as the Celtic Sage, inspires and uplifts people from all walks of life, offering guidance to influential world leaders, businesses, celebrities, athletes and everyday people alike. Distilled from his life work in psychotherapy, a martial arts career and study with wise yogis and Indian and Tibetan masters, Derek translates ancient wisdom into modern day teachings to address the biggest challenges facing humanity today.For additional insights listen to his free radio archives or order his book ‘WEIGHT – What’s Eating You?’.


Image courtesy of Redd Angelo.