A few years ago I had an interaction with someone I considered a “spiritual leader” that left me feeling disillusioned and upset. This person implied that if I were further along on my spiritual path that I would not be questioning the validity of what I considered to be their opinion, on a particular topic. In truth, I thought we were simply having a conversation and was shocked at their attempt to manipulate and embarrass me into submission. This was my first real encounter with what I have come to understand is a “spiritual narcissist.”

In today’s video, I will be sharing tips on how you can spot and AVOID these faux healing personalities or self-proclaimed spiritual leaders. This week’s Real Love Revolution video covers:

  • How to spot a spiritual narcissist
  • Traits of a spiritual narcissist
  • Why you should be your own leader
  • How to be mindful when seeking spiritual guidance

Spiritual narcissists are people who use what they claim to be superior knowledge or connection to the divine to dominate others. In reality, a spiritual narc is just your average, everyday narc who embeds themselves in a vulnerable community of seekers to have unlimited access to the narcissistic supply they need to live. Spiritual narcissists will talk the talk of how we are one big family but will employ any means necessary to keep you in line which might include making you feel less-than, embarrassing or bullying you. This is to retain control over you.

If you’re on a spiritual path, it’s important that you get really clear that no one has the magic answers for you. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

Look for leaders whose content resonates with you in a real way, but who aren’t trying to control you and don’t seem threatened by you. Spiritual narcissistic leaders want you to believe that they have the answers for you and they alone hold the key to your happiness or evolution. Avoid anyone who speaks as though they have cornered the market on “the truth.” Seek out leaders who share the wisdom of their own experience and who are willing to hold up a mirror so that you can see your own magic.

One way to identify this personality type is to observe if they use embarrassment or degradation as a means of control. If you are watching them give a talk and take questions do they subtly mock the person’s inquiry or make a joke at their expense? Do they bad mouth other leaders in the same space? Regular narcissistic traits are indicators as well, like self-preoccupation, claiming special status, exaggerating accomplishments and bragging.


Click here to download the full checklist of spiritual narcissistic traits and how to spot them so you can avoid them.

All narcissists need a narcissistic supply and will get it by finding and exploiting any perceived weakness. Be open, yet cautious. Do research online to see if there are complaints against this person and be mindful that there are people out there who are sick yet have many followers. There are also really amazing leaders too. In Danielle LaPorte’s amazing new book, White Hot Truth, she covers the topic of faux leaders beautifully and shares personal experiences of the varied spiritual narcissists she’s encountered on her life journey. If you have not grabbed a copy of White Hot Truth, do yourself a favor and do it now by clicking here. (You’re welcome!)

Bottom line is that ultimately YOU must decide what is right and true for you.

As Danielle would say, you must “Become your own guru.”

Drop me a comment here on the blog and let me know what resonated with you after watching the video above. Then head over to my YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE for FREE access to every Real Love Revolution vid! Join the conversation with #RealLoveRevolution on social media and share the love!

And ladies, if you haven’t yet joined the Real Love Revolution waiting list to gain immediate access to our private FB group and receive a bundle of FREE gifts from me plus a monthly livestream Q&A with on the last Friday of the month at 5PM ET, please click here to join us!

Thanks for watching, reading, and sharing!

And as always, take care of YOU.

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.