My first dream, before beauty and disability advocacy was to be an author. So much so that I never wrote. It was precious. Holy. It had to be perfect.

Sometimes, the thing we love the most, is the very thing we avoid.  @XianForBeauty83 (Click to Tweet!)

I avoided dating for a long time because I’m such a romantic. Why do we do this? Are we scared to mess up? Do we feel the need for permission to act? Inaction – coupled with a call to act can become enslaved frustration.

Stagnation isn’t messy. It isn’t anything at all yet: but an idea or a feeling; a lesson waiting in the wings, a suppressed possible accomplishment, or authentic purpose. So many plans are constipated thought which will keep nagging us until it becomes reality.

I run workshops on self-esteem for girls and women and people with disabilities – it’s my job to help others get excuses out of their way. Yet, I have so many of my own. This is my first blog attempt in about a year and I’m judging my words as they are being written. But at least they exist. I am writing words and eventually I will be shaping and sharing them. I will hold them back no longer. I will not suppress an ounce of the love I have for others. I will not hide my wings. No more great ideas and theoretical plans. 2018 is a year of action. So how can we be more proactive together? Perhaps we can take our friend  James Altucher’s advice to be just 1 percent better each day at whatever we choose. Perhaps resolutions are more manageable if we say: I will walk or roll an extra block today, hug one more person today, I’ll call one more loved one.

What talent, love, or greatness are you holding back? What are you not saying or being that would make you and your life feel more authentic?

I let the fulfillment of beauty and disability advocacy work (teaching at NYU, speaking and mentoring throughout the country) become my excuse for not writing my memoir. For not keeping a journal and recording some of my daily miracles and the wonderful people I meet. I am too busy, I said. No – I just watched Netflix instead. I didn’t write writing into my day because I felt I could never catch up to the speed, or fully capture the beauty of my life; and maybe I was simply afraid of what would happen if I did.

What distractions are you welcoming to fill the void in place of the thing you truly love to do? These distractions are often worthy (raising a family, hectic day job, compromised health) and therefore, a viable excuse for putting off our further contributions to the world. The truth is, I have more than enough time. I have plenty of work to do, and I have a lot of love to give; but maybe I just need new priorities. There’s a time to think, a time to prepare, a time to show up, and a time to take action!

Why not now?

Why not start with just 1%?

Xian and Mom Parasailing

Xian Horn is a joyful half-Asian woman with Cerebral Palsy, serving as writer, teacher, speaker, mentor, and Exemplar for the AT&T NYU Connect Ability Challenge toward the creation of Assistive Technology. A member of an international network of extraordinary women, 85 Broads, she was heralded by founder Janet Hanson as an “amazing role model for all women.” With her personal stories and ongoing mentoring work, Xian is invested in contributing positively to self-esteem and the collective self-image, especially for women. To support her True Beauty efforts for people with disabilities, please join her Facebook community and follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of Spencer Selover.