Take a moment to digest this:

Not getting what you want is actually what you truly want.

Read that statement again and let it sink in.

Allow me to explain….

We often consciously really really want something and do whatever we can to make it happen however keep finding ourselves without it. Why? Well because some part of us really does NOT want it because on some level we are scared of having it.

I explain more about how fear blocks our deepest desires and teach you how to shift it in today’s vlog.


This will make more sense with an example. This week on the podcast I coached Alex who called in with the question “Why am I still single?” She was doing everything she was “supposed” to do to manifest a relationship. She was practicing self-love, being active on the online sites, and intentionally being more feminine. But was still getting crickets when it came to being in a relationship.

What we uncovered in the coaching session were fears about actually being in a relationship. As much as she consciously wanted it, when we dove a little deeper she found concerns about feeling suffocated, being rejected or broken up with unexpectedly. With these fears lingering around, there was a big part of her that was blocking a relationship to protect her. Think about it…if a part of you is freaked out that you are going to be smothered or heartbroken in a relationship, what do you think that does for your dating life??

When we desire something that does not exist in our life, we have a tendency to blame ourselves, do a spiritual bypass, or mentally obsess about what we need to change and fix about ourselves to make it happen. Often, these strategies do not work.

What does work is taking a deep and honest look at why not having what we want, is actually what we want.

Let’s look at another example. Say you really really want to quit your corporate gig and be your own boss but the opportunities just are not lining up. Could there be a fear that you won’t be able to support yourself? Or that you are not capable of making it work that is blocking the Universe from actually providing the steps toward your dream?

When it comes to unrealized goals, instead of trying to fix something about yourself, look at why you actually don’t want it. Picture actually having it and be honest about what fears there are. Then work with those fears using the process I describe in the video.

Your conscious mind may want something but your psyche could be totally freaked out about actually having it! You are not doing anything wrong because what you want isn’t manifesting, you just don’t 100% want it yet.

Remember: We are the creators of our lives. We manifest according to our belief systems. Shift your beliefs to shift your results! @christinhassler (Click to Tweet!)


P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.

Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.

Image Courtesy of  5688709.