We tend to place a lot of importance on romantic relationships and our careers, often neglecting the value of friendships. This is not a recipe for a fulfilling life!!
Quality friendships are a key ingredient to happiness.
However friendship does come with some challenges . . .
We may have outgrown some friends as our values shift.
Friends move on either physically or onto creating their own families and therefore become less available.
We have some past hurts around feeling left out or rejected so we doubt our ability to make new friends.
It is difficult to find like-minded people to begin friendships with.
But these challenges can be overcome and are definitely NOT a reason to give up on friendships! In today’s vlog I give you my tips for creating and nurturing the kind of friendships that enhance the quality of your life.
I would not be where I am today without my friends. I turn to them for unconditional love and support. They shower me with compassion when I am struggling, celebrate my wins, and lovingly challenge me when I am not operating at my best.
But making friends has not always been easy for me. I had a huge story around being left out by the “mean girls” in school and did not trust other women. I was so afraid of rejection that I chose loneliness over taking the risk to make friends. Eventually the loneliness got too painful and I worked to heal the wounds around my perceived rejection by my peers. I made the choice to put myself out (very awkwardly at first because I was so self-conscious!) because I wanted to belong and feel connected. I followed the tips I am sharing with you.
My closest friends are people who I have created and nurtured deep relationships with. These people did not just appear in my life. I made friendship a priority and followed the advice I am sharing with you today.
Here is a brief overview of the tips that I dive much deeper into in the vlog:
1. Become a better friend to yourself. The more you positively shift your internal dialogue and self-perception, the easier it will be to attract quality friends. And remember: you are worthy of friendship!
2. Ask people out on friend dates! There are a lot of people out there who want to be your friend but consider they may not know you are interested in a friendship or they may have their own insecurities. Think of how flattered they will be when you ask them to be your friend.
3. Grow your friendships by nurturing them. Initiate phone calls and invite your friends out to things. Do not wait to be invited, create the experiences that cultivate connection.
4. Look at friendships that have faded away and if they are ones you are interested in maintaining, reach out and reignite that friendship. A little effort goes a long way when it comes to friendship. That said, free yourself from friendships that are toxic or depleting. Some friendships have an expiration date so let go of those to make room for fresh ones.
5. Consistently put yourself in places and situations where you are likely to meet like-minded people. You can find your tribe anywhere. Trust me they exist!!
Please do not rely on your partner, family or career to provide you with the heart and soul connection that we all need. Put intention and effort into creating friendships that are based on vulnerability and shared values. You do not need a ton of friends, but you do need a few who can truly love you.
One of my favorite proverbs is:
“A friend sings you the song of your soul when you’ve forgotten”
Find your tribe and nurture them. Make having and being an amazing friend a top priority in your life. @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
If you found today’s message helpful, please share it. And I want to hear your thoughts and questions. What do you appreciate most about your friends? How has friendship improved the quality of your life? What challenges are you facing when it comes to friendship. Please comment below and share with me.
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of: Cherylholt.