Today’s topic of dealing with unrequited love is a big pain point for many. If this subject does not apply to you, please consider forwarding this to someone who could benefit from this message.
The feeling of loving someone (or really liking them) and not having feeling reciprocated can be absolutely dreadful. Especially if you have to see that person frequently, you really believe that you are a great match, or the way the person expressed disinterest to you really hurt.
I understand that unrequited love can feel like the kind of pain you may never get over. Your mind just cannot seem to let go of obsessing about the person and coming up with all the reasons you “should” be together. You go over and over again in your head how you could have said or done something different to make the person like you. You may even be strategizing on how you can change their mind and eventually make them fall in love with you.
My offering to you today is freedom from the pain you feel when a loving feeling is not mutual. And this not only applies to romantic love. We often suffer when we want to be someone’s friend and feel they don’t like us back.
Please enjoy my tips and tools in the video for getting over unrequited love and on with feeling the love all around you.
So the number one thing to remind yourself of is that you are still lovable! Please do not make someone else’s opinion of you more important than your own.
And I know this can be challenging to do, but do not take the rejection personally. We truly never know why people make the choices they do. We cannot get in someone else’s head. Perhaps the other person is not ready for the kind of relationship you are. Or maybe they have their own insecurities that are getting in the way of truly seeing you. Or they could even have standards or expectations that you do not fit into and consequently making a choice from their head not their heart.
Or maybe it’s none of these things . . . and I know this can be hard to hear but I will say it to you anyway because I want you to be free from this pain.
Here it is: Maybe they are just not that into you.
But THAT IS OKAY!!! Just because someone is not into you does NOT mean anything is wrong with you. Listen, I hate potato salad. Does that make potato salad inedible? Does that make it a terrible food to serve? NO! Lots of people love potato salad. It’s just not for me.
I know comparing your love life to a side dish seems trivial but my intention is to put this into perspective for you by using a silly example. If you want to be free from the pain you are experiencing, make it okay that you may not be someone else’s dish of choice. And you want someone who is totally into you! Be it a friend or romantic partner.
I promise there are those people out there. I promise there are people who will see you and love you for you. There is nothing you need to change about you and stop trying to change someone into being into you. You are a prize. Do not waste your time on someone who is not a fit.
And, remember, rejection is often the Universe’s protection. Can you trust the Universe a little more on this? If a love or crush is unrequited, trust that it is not the one for you!
One last little piece of advice in terms of what the priceless gift is when it comes to rejection, which is this: You spot it, you got it.
Often we are super attracted to people who are reflecting positive qualities to us that we are not acknowledging inside ourselves. For example, if you were really attracted to someone’s confidence and drive, one of their gifts to you was to inspire you to reconnect with your confidence and drive. We cannot see in another what we don’t have inside ourselves. If you were drawn to their creativity, they are reflecting to you a need to tap back to yours. Your crush or unrequited love interest triggered what has been dormant inside of you. Be sure to watch the video as I give you a specific exercise to work with this.
Remember, nothing and no one can make you feel unlovable. Only your own BS beliefs will make you feel that way. You have not been rejected, something is just not a fit.
Stop obsessing over what could have been and open up to what could be.
@ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
You are loved. You are wanted. You are desired. Own your worth!
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of: Takmeomeo.