There are things you want to do. You want to start dating. You long to speak your truth. You are so ready to quit your job. You crave putting your art, words or message out in the world.
Yet something stops you. And it’s not even some external obstacle. It’s your own anxiety, worry or fear. You imagine the worst-case scenario or engage in paralysis by analysis all in an attempt to calm your concerns, yet this just makes them worse!
Worry is using our mind to come up with and visualize worst-case scenarios, instead of using the power of our mind to visualize what we truly want to occur. On some level, we think it’s protecting us or keeping us safe. But all it’s doing is creating more anxiety.
When we feel fear, it’s important that we first be with the part of us that feels scared and anxious. When we get scared as adults, we need to learn how to respond to it in a way that feels reassuring. A big part of this can be addressed by self-soothing. Most of the ways we attempt to soothe ourselves are not about soothing at all. We may be numbing or distracting ourselves. We run away from the fear by working, eating, sedating ourselves with drugs or alcohol, or using social media for hours.
But the more we ignore it, the bigger the “monster in our closet” becomes, so instead of running from your fear, face it head on. It doesn’t mean you have to conquer it, just be with it. What does it need from you? If the fear has a message for you, what’s the message? Can you trust yourself to sit with it rather than run? Be a reassuring voice to yourself. Tell yourself you are safe, and that everything is OK.
Today I invite you to consider:
- Do you worry a lot? Do you have a tendency to imagine worst-case scenarios, or have a habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
- Do you think that preparing for the worst protects you from being disappointed?
- Did something challenging, traumatic or catastrophic happen to you as a kid, so you live with nervous anticipation that something bad will happen again?
- How are you soothing yourself when you go into fear, anxiety, or panic? Are you able to calm yourself down? What are your coping mechanisms?
And remember: Worry is a poor use of your imagination! Use your imagination to visualize what you truly desire instead @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of: Free-Photos.