We hear this from motivators: “You are the average of the five people that you surround yourself with.”

Cue the racing mental inventory of your friendships: are your homies “successful” enough? Is their mojo rubbing off on you? Are you going to let go of friends who haven’t gotten rich yet? Or sober? Who aren’t f-ckin’ crushin’ it?

There’s a shadow to the “5 people rule”. It can make us transactional… strands of usery can find their way into the connection, tinges of envious cloying. And in that dynamic, real love will struggle to grow.

Yes, be intentional, fill your life with people who are deeply well. But also consider being the opposite of calculating—which is being organic, which grows the magic.

Consider loving your people where they’re at. Because at some point in life each of us will be struggling or soaring with conventional definitions of success. We’ll be face-planted in pain, in between confused and resolute, or the best in class.

Be fully you, loving the people in your life for being fully themselves. @DanielleLaPorte (Click to Tweet!)

And if you can emulate their A+ ways or they can hook you up, then that’s just a bonus on top of true love and integrity… which is the kind of success that really matters.


Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries.

Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.