Sometimes I sit around having imaginary arguments with people I love/hate.
They did this! And this! WHY??
I loved them. How could they do this!?
I did THIS for them. WHY?
I could do this fun activity for hours. Days even!
I imagine what they say. And what I say back. And what they say. And what I say back.
Ugh. What a waste.
DON’T KEEP A SCOREBOARD
One friend of mine asked me, “Do you ever keep a scoreboard about your friendships?”
What do you mean?
“Like, I did this so he/she should now do this. Or… I did X, Y, and Z so they shouldn’t do A, B, or C!”
Yeah, I do that all the time.
Once you find yourself keeping a scoreboard, that’s a sign that the friendship or business relationship or any relationship is already over.
AND NEVER ASK “WHY?”
The most important thing I learned last year about people: never ask “why?”
Some people are toxic. Some are “narcissistic” (an over-used word, but still).
Some people will wrong you. Some friends will stop talking to you for no reason.
I have never ever once found out why. In a hundred different situations over the past many decades.
They just do what they do.
And I have to do what I can do.
The crappy people in my life are never the neighbors down the street who I don’t know.
They are always people who were once close to me.
They are always people who I would once trust with anything, with my life, with my loyalty and faith.
And then… poof.
WHY? W. H. Y.
I’ll never know. And I am going to try really hard this year to never ask.
James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
Image courtesy of Elijah O’Donnell.