Do you know who the meanest person you’ll ever meet is?
It’s your own inner critic and I came face-to-face with mine this week.
Now why in the world would I say that a part of you is meaner than anyone else? I’m sure you can think of a time where you’ve said some nasty things about yourself that you wouldn’t dare say about someone else. Why do we beat ourselves up when we are such a nice person?
Our relationship with ourselves—how we talk to ourselves and the self-perception we have —impacts both our well-being and the actions we take more than anything. That’s why I am so passionate about encouraging you to tone down the fierceness and volume of your inner critic.
Last week I had a (painful) reminder of this when my inner critic got super loud. I was totally beating the crap out of myself regarding a situation. I was also getting some external criticism that only gave my inner critic more material to use against me. OMG it was brutal. I wanted to go back in time and get a do-over.
Can you relate to that??
But not only did this fierce self-critic not feel good, it sidetracked me from the blessings in the situation. Thank goodness this was not a long diversion. After a few perspective check conversations with friends and my own inner coach, I was able to shift.
Please for the love of your sanity and your emotional health, shift yours!
Here are some tips:
- When you’re being a Nasty Nelly to yourself, expecting to instantly get all Suzy Sunshine is a big leap. Get yourself to neutral acceptance instead of going for a pep talk. Say things to yourself like, “I did the best I could. I forgive myself for judging myself. I am using this for my learning.”
- Consider the energetic contribution you are making. Your self-talk not only influences YOU but influences the vibe you are broadcasting. The more negative you are on the inside, the less likely you are to be able to attract what you want. Plus, most people really do not like to be around other people who are criticizing themselves all the time.
- Usually a fierce outburst from your inner critic does require more than just the first two suggestions. We need some actions that alert our inner critic to the fact that we do not need it to keep torturing us. Here’s what I found works best: Forgive yourself, write down what you learned and come up with a prevention plan for how you can do even better. Make room for improvement without the so-called constructive criticism (because, seriously, any form of negative self-talk is NOT constructive!)
Your inner critic is NOT helping you. It is NOT motivating you in a positive way. It is draining your energy and broadcasting bad vibes. @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
No one ever says, ‘I’m really glad I worried, stressed and beat myself up about ______.’
What will support you is listening to the voice of your heart; that voice that speaks truth to you with love. That voice is always there. I promise. And the more you silence the criticism, the louder the voice of love will become.
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of splitshire.