The human experience is full of great stuff like creativity, miracles, connection with others, laughter and dark chocolate. And because we evolve through contrast, our experience also includes challenging situations and things we may not put in the “great stuff” category. I call them expectation hangovers.
But the good news about the not so great stuff is that we have what it takes to let go of anything and everything that happens. The suffering from our expectation hangovers does not have to be permanent.
Bring to mind the most challenging thing you’ve endured. It probably brings up an uncomfortable feeling (or feelings). The memory of it may be something you cannot seem to escape and continues to impact the quality of your life.
Now imagine how liberated you will be when you totally let it go. Imagine no longer experiencing suffering over something that happened in your life. I know this is possible because I have both personally experienced and witnessed thousands of people let go of difficult (even traumatic) situations they have been carrying around for years and arrive at a place of total peace.
So what’s the first step?
It is ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance requires being free of judgment. The reason we are unable to get over things is because we are still judging what happened.
Think of a situation from your past that you are having trouble getting over. Do you think it shouldn’t have happened? Do you think it was terrible? Do you believe things should have been different? Do you think you were wronged? Do you think you were wrong? Do you believe it caused more undesirable circumstances in your life? Do you see yourself as damaged by it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then what perpetuates your suffering and prevents you from letting go is judgment.
The first law of Spirit is acceptance. Until you accept what happened with zero judgment of it being bad or wrong in any way, you continue to keep it alive inside you. What happened, happened. It’s in the past. Your judgments about it continue to keep it present and impact your future.
Now you may be thinking, “What happened was awful – I cannot imagine accepting it!” Acceptance does not mean you condone or agree; but rather that you are removing the judgment that keeps it active inside of you. When you stop judging something, it is possible to feel your feelings about it with compassion, so you are actually releasing them rather than recycling them (I walk you through how to do this step-by-step in Expectation Hangover).
Acceptance moves you out of victim consciousness and empowers you with the freedom of forgiveness. @christinhassler (Tweet this!)
As you accept ALL situations in your life free and clear of judgment, you stop asking “Why did this happen” and start asking questions that move you out of an expectation hangover:
- What am I learning from this?
- How did this experience serve me?
- How can I use the information from my past as information and inspiration?
Let go of your opinions and victim stories – they are not serving you. Empower yourself by unloading judgments you’ve been carrying around like a heavy backpack so that you are free to fully embrace all the great stuff that is available to you in the here and now.
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of Vladimir Fedotov.