At the end of an interview, it’s common to be asked the big finale question: “Tell our listeners how to get unstuck. Give us three secrets to happiness. What’s THE most useful thing you’ve learned?” No pressure.
I have a lot of possible answers, but recently, I surprised myself with this one:
“What’s the most useful thing I’ve learned?” I paused. “That I’m a good person.”
There aren’t three quick steps to that. No hack. I don’t know if it translates into anything helpful for anyone. It’s not particularly innovative or sexy. But it’s my greatest success so far.
Many of us learn to subsist on a criticism diet, in a kind of pain that eats us. We turn the pain we feel against ourselves, using our hurts as evidence that we must be unworthy—not awfully bad, but certainly not wholly good.
All oppressive systems feed this lie of unworthiness, of “not goodness”. This is the d-mning illusion of separation from Source.
But the Truth is waiting, like eternal Truth does: You’re born good. DNA goodness. Spanning all of time fundamentally good. Even when you’ve done bad stuff, the heart of your matter is purely good.
I’ve been all kinds of things I felt bad about. I’ve been called bad things, treated badly. I’ve taken most of my human shortcomings and with accountant-like precision put it in the “bad person” column. The tally included: the difficulties I had forgiving some people, my bravado, my imperfect physical health, my introverted ways. Some days, even my fundamental needs would slip into the “not good” category, including my need for privacy, affection, laughter, warm spaces, cleanliness, gluten-free options, encouragement, loyal friendship, and real Love.
We all have blind spots and addictions. Still, fundamentally, we are good. Greed. Despair. Harm. Still, fundamentally, we are good.
A lot of religious doctrine preaches otherwise. Advertisers don’t want you to know that. People have forgotten to remind you of this because a lot of people failed to remind them.
To trust your fundamental goodness is a victory. It’s the return to Love that every mystic announces. @DanielleLaPorte (Click to Tweet!)
So how did I come to my own conclusion of goodness? It doesn’t matter, really. (It’s the work of a lifetime.) What matters is that you lock eyes with your own Soul and believe when it tells you: You’re a good person. Always have been, always will be.
That’s some very useful information.
Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.