Most humans filter life through the dirty, lying prism of fear.
Friends and family look squarely through the lens of fear when they criticize your dreams.
Critics actually love what you do but the heavy anchor of fear clouds their judgment, alters their perception and screws up their ability to see the truth of abundance, love and harmony in all you do as you move toward your dreams.
Those close to me have told me:
- I’d always be an office worker
- I better get out of debt so if I die young my wife won’t be burdened with my debt bills
- I should just marry rich since I am a pretty boy
Most humans live in a predominant state of fear and pain. Do you really want to trust their advice? Do you really want to trust in their criticism? Do you really believe their criticism is about you and not yourself?
Critics Project Their Fears About Themselves onto You
The person who believed I’d always be an office worker had always worked office jobs.
The person who feared my debt lost a parent and watched their other parent become saddled with the heavy debt of their deceased spouse.
The person who advised me to marry rich saw themselves in a powerless, helpless light.
Every critic tells you about themselves and says nothing about you because all criticism indicates how the person sees themselves.
Friends and Family Critics Hit Close
People tend to get attached to friends and family. How does it feel to field barbs from these trusted, normally loving, people? Terrible. I recall a few particularly painful experiences with friends, family and criticism. Rage, anger, shame and embarrassment flooded my being the split second a loved one unearthed fears in me via their nasty feedback.
Take heart, guys; loved ones criticize us to clear the fear and pain that needs clearing to reach the next stage of your growth as you chase your dreams.
Own It to Lose It
Own your negative reactions to criticism. Feel the fear. Hug the pain. Do your best not to project your pain onto friends and family. Owning the feeling by not projecting it is the quickest way to lose the fear and pain. Losing deep fears and pain levels you out, creating a calm, peaceful, poised nature about your being.
I recall feeling humiliated when family discovered my financial issues a decade ago. But feeling the shame, humiliation, anger and embarrassment cleared these emotions from my being. Successive financial problems triggered less fear and pain until I felt entirely at peace, eased and relaxed telling panicked, frenzied, poverty conscious friends and family I lost all my money, many years after my initial money issues.
Guess what? While these fraidy cats screamed, panicked and went into complete histrionics about my alleged money loss and irresponsible debt build up, I quietly and calmly made greater amounts of money and left my financial issues in the mirror for good. These family fools were stuck in the past, clutching at an image of me which no longer existed, while I saw completely through their illusory criticism and carried on.
In most cases, fam and friends mean well but offer misplaced criticism through the illusory prism of fear.
Feel any sting that arises after loved ones offer biting feedback.
Critics criticize themselves.
Do not get emotionally involved in their critical, fear-heavy world.
Carry on calmly and live your dreams.
Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who’s been featured on Richard Branson’s Virgin Blog, Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur, Positively Positive, Life Hack, John Chow Dot Com and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and self-published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon. Ryan can help you build a successful blog at Blogging From Paradise.
Image courtesy of Andrei Lazarev.