When I was married I told my then husband that if he cheated on me I might still stick around. Getting through that kind of betrayal would take a miracle, and I would have wanted to create forgiveness and get to the other side of it, together — make lemons out of lemonade n’ all. We stuck it out for a long time and by the end of that relationship, I had a very different stance on infidelity. If necessary, the lemon tree would have to be chopped down. (I explain why in the video post.)
Enter the profound artwork that is Beyoncé’s Lemonade. I bow. As a White woman, Lemonade made me almost want to avert my gaze — to honour the pain that only belongs to Black women. Hands folded I say, I respectfully can’t relate to that specific pain, and I hurt for you.
And, there’s so much common ground…
as beings with hearts that can break,
and with tempers that can break other hearts.
I’ve got a lot of thoughts about infidelity in particular — which is at the heart of Lemonade. In committed relationships you bleed, you sweat, you change. You contort, love, f-ck, and devote to something sacred — if you want it to be sacred, that is.
A lot of relationships are actually just transactional, half-agreements. That’s as sad as it sounds.
In this video check-in: My feelings about infidelity, monogamy and commitment — and how they’ve evolved over time. How I define Divine Fidelity a la David Deida’s 3 stages of relationships. And my deep respect for Beyonce’s art and every woman’s choice of devotion.
Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.