Imagine this…you are in the shopping mall, and a beautiful lady catches your eye. Naturally, you immediately start formulating a thousand ways to say hi and as she comes closer, you choke! You go silent and just like that your chance is gone. What is it that restrained you? Fear of being rejected perhaps or Lack of confidence, perhaps?
Confidence is a slightly weird thing. While it seems easy, it is surprisingly not. For some individuals, it is something volatile…you feel superbly confident today, and the next day it’s gone. While for others, it is hard even to summon a little of it …if ever!
Nonetheless, one thing we can all probably agree on is that we all want to exude more confidence each day. The question, however, is, exactly how do we do this?! Luckily, if you want to work on your confidence, this excerpt details four actionable steps to help you build unshakable confidence.
1. Jump Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Have you ever had an urge to pursue something but you ended up talking yourself out of it? Say a fantastic business idea that you’ve been sitting on for some time, or approaching that cute lady you’ve been eyeing for days?
Unfortunately, failing to pursue these desires because you are sitting in your comfort zone causes stagnation. Not exploring new experiences means that you are pushing yourself deeper into the ‘comfort hole’ that you have been sitting on for months or years.
Before she took on the lead role in ‘The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks’ movie, American media mogul, Oprah Winfrey, initially had reservations about doing it. In fact, she said it intimidated her. However, she decided to face her fears and ‘do the impossible’, and as they say, the rest is history.
While getting out of comfort zone might be scary, it is however necessary. By undertaking new things, you will effectively boost your confidence. How? By proving to yourself that you are actually capable of doing everything you’ve forever been afraid of doing.
2. Attack your procrastinations
Procrastination is a #1 confidence killer! Every time you procrastinate, your unfinished tasks continue pilling up. They pile up so much so that the thought of what you ought to be doing makes you feel helpless. However, you can resolve this by creating a procrastination list and working on it, little by little.
Ideally, you can start by brainstorming several problematic procrastinations you should have taken care of already. You can make a weekly list, as a start and maybe expand it later. Reflect on your weekly list every morning and choose one backburner task to work on each day. Whatever it is, whether cleaning your clothes or getting your dog neutered, you will stimulate a new ‘I do the job’ identity. In essence, this is how you inspire confidence.
Sincerely, tackling single procrastination each day is really all you need! In fact, such is its effectiveness in building unshakeable confidence that it propelled Jerry Seinfeld to the Top 100 Comedians of all time. Unknown to many, Seinfeld rose to the epitome of comedy by coming up with one joke each day-attacking one procrastination a day! According to him, writing a joke every day was how he became a better comic. The trick, however, was never to break this chain.
In essence, you will gradually become more confident by crossing out a solitary procrastination goal each day. Ensure you properly plan it, though.
3. Enlist Professional Assistance
Your brain must feel competent so that it can prompt a confident exterior outcome. But how can you keep your mind competent? The answer is simple: by polishing on your qualities through enlisting expert assistance in the areas where you require more confidence.
Usually, you can find experts through articles, books, seminars, videos, and the internet. For instance, if you are a writer, you can surf through the internet for experienced professional custom writers. Similarly, a certified coach is another expert who will effectively help you remain focused on your goals as well as hold you liable for taking all the essential actions to finalize your plans.
In essence, confidence attracts more confidence. Professionals will not only support your plans but will also aid you in incredible ways. However, this is only if you believe in yourself, are passionate. What’s more, if you demonstrate confidence in other people, they do the same for you.
4. Be Fearless
As you pursue any endeavor, you will experience massive setbacks and disappointments. It is normal to feel disheartened at times. Nonetheless, discouragements are not the end, especially if we see them as a stepping stone. Rather than giving up, you need to face your challenges fearlessly.
Fearlessly pushing on massively promotes confidence, just ask Kevin Harrington. The pioneer of Shark Tank’s ‘original Shark’, he owes part of his success for his fearlessness. According to him, failure is part of the progress and being fearless helped him invest some more even when the losses and failures kept coming. In fact, in the more than 500 investments he made, over 300 of them failed, and he lost all his money. However, due to fearlessness, he took risks and 100 of his deals produced $5 billion.
Failing is inevitable, but how you deal with it makes all the difference. If your dreams and goals are big, you may feel overwhelmed, and you will likely feel like you cannot do it.
During these moments, you need to look deep inside yourself and summon some courage to keep going. All wildly successful individuals have been afraid, but they have fearlessly kept going on and taken even more risks anyway. Why? Because what they are looking to achieve is more vital and urgent compared to their fear of failing. Similarly, focus on your intended goal as opposed to the obstacles and pursue them fearlessly. Always think of the reasons why you can but not the reasons why you can’t.
Confidence is ideally one of the things that are hard to define. It is intangible, and we can as such only apprehend it when either see or feel it. While confidence is ideally a characteristic that recedes and flows for you, you can, however, start to build long-term confidence that lasts forever. By implementing these four actionable steps, you will boast the foundational belief necessary to make virtually anything happen. After all, if they worked for Oprah and Jerry Seinfeld, why shouldn’t they work for you?
Jeff Blaylock is a renowned personal development coach and an accredited freelance author who specialize in customwriting essays. He is the holder of a Master’s degree in Psychology. Besides authoring, Jeff is also involved in many motivational programs helping individuals cultivate their personality.
Image courtesy of Nsey Benajah.