Fellow Self Help Keener,

I know you KNOW that we’re all connected and “oneness consciousness” is on your to-do list. We ARE interconnected. Howevah! This Truth needs some discernment when applied. Because not every jerk that comes into your life is a reflection of your own shadowy repressed inner jerkness.

Episode 4 is live! It’s a Q&A feature.

Tune in or scan the highlights:

I am a 100% yes to the theory that we attract certain people into our lives to teach us certain things. And — everyone is not your complete reflection. Here’s what I mean…

“If I keep attracting jerks into my life, I must be a jerk.”

False. We bring a jerk into our life. If we’re striving to be conscious and connective, we then ask ourselves, Where am *I* being a jerk? How is this a reflection of my own… jerkness? It’s a wise question that can expand your perspective so you can make more illuminated choices.

However — and this is a big however because this is where discernment comes in — the danger in reflection theory is this: misplaced responsibility. We might take the emphasis off the other person’s accountability and we become over-responsible. If we think that on some level we’re a jerk, too, we might let the other person’s bad behavior slide.

Maybe what’s really happening is this… That jerk didn’t come into your life to show you where you have the same faults and crappy similarities. Maybe they showed up to help you to look at your underlying belief that it’s your job to fix other people. Or maybe they’re showing you the lack of self-worth pattern you have for putting up with bullsh*t. Maybe the jerk is there to help you say, “I’m done with this.”

You’re probably not a jerk… so why do they keep showing up?

Are you attracting jerks because you’re a jerk? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes the jerk is there to show you how you do NOT want to feel or be treated — because contrast is one of our most powerful teachers. The flipside: what they may be here to illuminate is how you DO want to feel and who you truly are.

This episode was inspired by @theimaginationstudio, who asked, “Why are we not each other’s mirror?” … a subject I go into in White Hot Truth. If you’d like to ask a Q, please do!

With Love,


Link Love

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I AM LOVE, by DJ Drez feat. Marti Nikko. Available on Spotify + iTunes.






Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.