This question is from Kelly: How do you practice self-forgiveness—especially when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and you’re picking up the pieces?
I think self-forgiveness is all about coming home to The Truth—that in God’s eyes (choose your resonant phrase: Great Spirit, Divine Father, Divine Mother, your soul, your most loving self) you can return to wholeness, to “guiltlessness,” as A Course In Miracles puts it.
The first step (and you’re there already) is to see the “error”: Ah, that wasn’t good. That wasn’t healthy. That wasn’t the truth. That wasn’t love. You’ve already brought your consciousness to this situation and you’re creating a possibility for healing.
From a compassionate response to your misstep, a new commitment can emerge.
Start with just the willingness to forgive.
Clearing your conscience can be daunting and confusing. Just be willing to figure it. From that willingness, you’ll start to see more of the elements of why you did what you did. And eventually, you may be able to see how fundamentally forgivable and lovable you are.
Focus your self-forgiveness toward your Deep Sensitivity—your Inner Child.
Write an apology letter to your Inner Child about your actions and the impacts. Keep the apology simple. Our job as the “parent” here is to make sure our Inner Child is seen, loved, rested, nourished—we don’t need to go into a drawn out therapeutic analysis of the situation.
Sorry for neglecting you. Sorry for overworking. I can see how that’s made you anxious. I can see that’s how I made you tired. Here’s my commitment: you don’t have to worry about this stuff ever again. I see you. I love you. I will take care of you.
Commit to self love (on behalf of your Inner Child)… and follow through.
Follow through with the nourishing plans. The parts of yourself that have been wounded by errors in perception, or unloving habits—do the good work to transform them.
Self-forgiveness is a sacred course correction. Impeccability is a myth, but if we aim for consistent forgiveness with our consistently human selves, we get closer to the Divine.
A Course in Miracles—an ideology for living based on the belief that Love is the True Reality.
Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.