My intention for this article is to remind you that even though you need time and space to heal you are still a good person. My intention is to show you that there exists another way of relating to yourself and to others than the one we are used to and this way is paved with valuing your well-being above anything else without falling into self-blame, guilt or self-hatred. The energetics that are guiding this world make it so that unless you value yourself and unless you become aware of your worth, the people and circumstances of your life are not going to reflect your worth back to you.
We create our world with every belief, every action and every feeling. If you are prone to feeling deeply for yourself and for others, you are more acutely aware of the state that our world is currently in. You interact with people who are caring their unhealed emotional and psychical wounds with them everywhere they go. And if you were born into this world, you are most likely one of them, too.
That is why I am going to share with you a few processes which will help you to reown your power of healing and to allow you to hold space for the people you are interacting with. These tools will gradually allow you to take ownership over your own energy and your sensitivity will be your superpower, instead of a curse.
#1 Know your worth
“Other people‘s happiness is not my responsibility.“
I suggest you learn this phrase by heart and then repeat it as often as possible, until it becomes a new normal for you and until you feel it solidify in your bones. We are all responsible for our own lives.
Your sensitivity is going to heal those you come into contact with, but also those who you will never meet, because your own healing causes a ripple effect. However, you won’t access your own power by taking on other people’s feelings or beliefs. Your way of healing is by example.
As you unlearn the detrimental patterns you project out into the world what self-love and self-compassion looks like. Therefore, cherish your own energy; cherish your body and your mind. They are yours to take care of and you don’t have to share them with anyone, unless you want to.
You were given the gift of feeling deep and the gift of living with love, so you can shine brightly on your way to raising awareness. Owning your gifts and owning your inherent value is a constant practice. You literally have to practice reminding yourself every day that you are worthy of your love first and foremost and that others are able to tap into their own source of love, if they are open and willing to do so. It is not your responsibility to save them from themselves. Your essence is a gift, your gentleness knows no boundaries, but to heal the emotional state of the humanity, we need to learn to process our own feelings first and to keep our inner world intact. This we will learn to do by staying focused on what is true to us and by tending to our mental wellbeing.
You do not have to take on the feelings of others as your own. You have the ability to observe them, but you can choose not to interact with them. Your role is to tend to your own state of mind, embrace and enforce the beliefs you have been working on, let yourself soak in your own energy and let go of everything that makes you feel heavy. But above all remember that you deserve the lightness, you deserve the wellbeing, you deserve the goodness and by healing yourself, you have healed a part of the human consciousness.
#2 Own yourself fully
As a conscious creator of your life you have the power to decide how you react to the energies around you. Sometimes you cannot anticipate what is going to appear in front of you, but you have a one hundred percent ownership over your inner state of being, your decisions and your actions. You get to choose what kind of energy you want to let in and what kind of energy you are not willing to support. In order to own yourself fully, you need to accept all the parts that are surfacing in your consciousness.
It means, be willing to see your triggers, see the hurt parts and then heal them with a modality that feels good to you and that supports your wellbeing, such as loving self talk, journaling, meditation, hypnosis, therapy, breath work, exercise etc. This kind of practice will allow you to own yourself fully and to take responsibility for your behavior from a place of self-respect and self-love. No one gets to touch your essence, nor alter your inner state without your permission.
You heal the world by healing your own triggers. You uplift others by holding and upleveling your energy. And know that you are not responsible for the way people around you behave. If you want to stay grounded in your own energy and if you want to fully own your decisions, you need to leave the decisions of others up to them.
#3 Let yourself know that you have your back
When growing up as a sensitive person in a desensitized world, we are taught to abandon ourselves again and again. If you are parented by parents who have their own unhealed wounds, there is a great chance that you weren’t taught how to parent yourself. On the contrary, you needed to be hyper vigilant of your behavior, so you want trigger others and so won’t get into conflict. This applies to you even more, if you were given the gift of feeling into others and the ability to sense their inner state (we are all energetic beings and we all have an access to this ability, however, some of us are more in tune with it than others).
A part of the reowning process is learning to become your own parent. As I mentioned before, we are creating our own reality, but the only reason you might not believe it, yet, is because you are not creating only from your conscious mind but mainly from you subconscious mind or in other words from years of conditioning and mental programming, you have experienced while growing up. The so called shadow work is the modality that is dealing exactly with this phenomenon.
By doing the shadow work, we are bringing the light of consciousness – our own awareness – to the parts of us that we have been suppressing, because we were taught that they are not acceptable. One of the most healing practices I have experienced is consciously changing the way I am talking to myself. The fact is that the thoughts just occur in our mind. We cannot choose what kind of thoughts pop up in our consciousness, but we can very well choose how to interact with them. Once you have realized that the majority of these thoughts were learned, you gain the understanding that you have the power to teach yourself again.
What I personally do, is that I welcome every thought as a confused little child. I choose not to judge them as good or bad, but I see clearly which ones are serving me and which ones I would like to shift. While doing this process the most important rule is that what you resist persists. Therefore, welcoming every single stressful, fearful and hateful thought as a frightened child is the only way out of our current state of thinking.
The process of meeting your subconscious parts through feeling uncomfortable emotions will give you back to yourself. Gradually, step by step you will heal your triggers and you will be able to stand in your power fully.
Eva Stechova created her blog AMIRACLEWORKBOOK to share inspiration, upliftment and meaningful content. She believes that by intentionally choosing to be who we truly are in our hearts – kind and loving beings – we can create the lives we have always wanted to live. She shares her content on Pinterest and Instagram as well.
Image courtesy of Denys Argyriou.