“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. People don’t realize that now is all there ever is: there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind.” – Eckhart Tolle
To be aware of our thoughts, feelings and emotions is the same thing as choosing how to live life: in peace or a struggle. Often cases, our minds tend to keep us within our comfort zone, safe and protected from failure.
Most of us become the prisoners of all kinds of limitations – worries and concerns that haven’t happened yet, fears and scenarios that disconnect us from the only reality that is – the present moment.
You see, we often live in an illusion. Each time we worry and project thoughts about the future, we live in a fantasy because the future hasn’t happened yet.
The same thing is valid for the past, which is a matter of self-perception, a story we are telling ourselves. The past is often working against ourselves, in the reality of the NOW, and feelings of blame, guilt or shame make a very destructive trio one could keep in their repertoire.
Looking at the future with hope and looking back on the past with compassion, accepting to learn from previous experiences and in particular through failure, is a transformational practice.
Knowing that we can also make mistakes, only because we are human and deciding that we are not our past. Trusting the divine and allowing the Universe to support us in co-creating our future.
I spent many years of my life trying to control different people and situations and worrying about the future. I came to realize I didn’t even know how to enjoy the small pleasures of life. Like many people, I was afraid to be happy since I could lose it one day, and I was constantly letting my worries ruin my joy.
Today I have stopped defining myself as a control freak. I accept there are things in life that I can’t control, no matter how hard I try. I learned to live in the present moment, knowing that my past experiences are part of the story I am telling myself — filtered through my own lenses, expectations, and system of belief — while my future is a scenario created by my imagination.
That is valid for all of us, including you. Your future starts now, and your only reality is the fact that, at this very moment, you are reading this post.
In a world that evaluates our human worth through how well we do things in life, many people have turned into human doings. Some even feel guilty for taking a moment to relax and “do nothing.”
What we need is to get closer to our primary human state of mind, which is the one of BEING. Do less and be more.
Connect to ourselves more through practices like prayer, yoga, meditation, spending quality time in nature, or simply choosing to do nothing apart from just being for five minutes a day.
“Mindfulness. Your mind is full. Just what is it full of?” – Byron Katie
Let us take a mind shower, and do it often. Being mindful is to witness the mere fact that we ARE in a very non-judgmental way, and mindfulness is a form of self-care.
And now, I would like to hear from you. What practices help you to connect with yourself?
Sara Fabian is a Women’s Empowerment & Career Coach and inspirational speaker, on a mission to help professional women to discover their unique strengths, gifts and talents, boost their confidence, find their calling and live a meaningful life of purpose. For weekly inspiration, subscribe to her free newsletter at www.sarafabiancoaching.com or follow her on Facebook.