As you heal (read: apply compassion to your pain; forgive some people; turn anxiety into insight), what you’re attracted to is going to change.

This is verrry helpful to keep front of mind in rebuilding our lives-bodies-hearts. Because as we clean up our issues, a new approach to decision making is going to take form.

You’ll be re-writing your definitions of “love,” “acceptable,” “happiness,” “nourishing,” and “turn on.” The people-places-ideas that used to magnetize you could lose their pull. You’re going to reconstruct your opinions of what’s “healthy.” And the concept of Higher Love… to speak of it now may feel like foreign words fumbling on your tongue. But it will emerge from you.

Past tense: You may have found aloof people sexy. Heyyyy, let me convert you into loving meeee. Fun project! 
Healed now: You’re compelled by enthusiastic humans who love to love. Steadfast honesty is exciting. Who knew.

Past tense: Mmmmm… Numbing out was irresistibly pleasurable. (Shop, drink, Netflix, chill, chit, chat.)
Healed now: Ewwww… Wouldn’t waste your precious power on that. You ache for tall trees, fresh air, leafy greens, and deep conversations with people who look you in the eye.

Past tense: Loved a PACKED schedule, go go go—must have meant you were important.
Healed now: You’ve fallen in love with going with The Flow (and so has your nervous system).

You’ve done a lot of healing work and the shifts are settling into your psyche. Now, a new opportunity, person, project, activity, purchase, or meal presents itself to you. Here’s the question:

Is my Healed Self attracted to this?

Wait for the answer. Your past programming will try to convince you why XYZ is still good for you, and why ABC is sooo boring.

And then! Your strengthened heart and clarified esteem will make it right, sometimes to your total surprise. That situation has zero appeal to me now. But that life-affirming, loves-me-as-I-am, spacious place where I can express myself… THAT is a total turn on.

You’re healing well.



Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.