“Ten years from now, when I look back at this decade of my life, am I going to be impressed with how I spent it?”

I never ask these questions.

But my friend Amy Morin does. She’s a psychotherapist and the author of the international bestseller, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.”

She’s a regular on my podcast. Because she asks a lot of big questions. It lets me look back. Instead of look forward.

I don’t drive. But I know that I need a rearview mirror to reduce anxiety.

So I had Amy on. She helped me see out the rearview mirror, reflect and then refocus. What lane am I in? Do I like here? How do you switch? Or go faster? Or slow down?

What do I need?

I like all of these questions. I don’t have answers. But that’s not the point.

The point is to connect with your internal compass just a little bit each day.

Just 1%.

Then that compounds. And your relationship with yourself grows. So that by the time you get to 2030 or tomorrow or the end of your life or wherever… your answer to Amy’s question…

“Ten years from now, when I look back at this decade of my life, am I going to be impressed with how I spent it?”

…is what you want it to be.

Here’s a list of what we talk about:

  • 0:00 | Intro
  • 7:40 | How to need less validation. AND why I always focus on process. NOT outcome.
  • 12:40 | “When you’re at the starting line, you don’t know what’s going to happen 10 feet later”
  • 15:33 | How to know when to quit something
  • 16:12 | When to not make a decision
  • 21:45 | You can’t think your way out of a problem. You have to DO. Amy and I talk about how to apply what you’re learning to your life.
  • 22:46 | “Don’t wish your life was easier, wish you were stronger” – Amy Morin
  • 24:54 | We all need validation. But we sometimes act like we don’t. But Amy says it’s important to accept the parts about us that we don’t want to. Hear her explain why.
  • 25:50 | I outsource my validation to the people around me. But that’s exhausting. So I ask Amy, “How do we let go of that? And make time for things that matter?”
  • 35:54 | What causes obsessive thinking
  • 42:11 | How to manage disappointment and grief
  • 46:54 | How to deal with frustration. So you can focus on what matters to you
  • 48:03 | Amy gave me this advice in the past: Change “I have to” to “I get to.” I tell her how this has helped me.
  • 52:10 | How to handle our most uncomfortable emotions
  • 58:48 | Outro

Listen here

James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Image courtesy of Amelia Bartlett.