I used to get confused when teachers and mentors would say to surrender my thoughts, dreams, and desires.
Surrender, what does that even mean? Doesn’t surrender imply that I’m being forced to do something I don’t want to do?
Our western minds have a lot of connotations that are not what “Surrender” is really about because we interpret it to mean “giving up.” And giving up is seen as a weakness.
Sometimes the mention of surrender can bring to mind a scene from a cowboy western movie where a bandit is holding up a group of people at gunpoint. As a result, we struggle with letting go of things that actually keep us from the peace we seek.
But this is a distorted way of looking at surrender. Especially if the reason you’d let go of what you’re holding is because you actually want to have it in your life.
Don’t surrender to a bandit because a blessing is on the way
We think of surrender as having to release something we hold dear to someone else and then lose it forever. Does that ring true for you?
I’m growing in the art of surrender. It’s been a big part of my life in 2020. And over the past two years.
In growing my business and in my relationships, surrender has been the absolute number one resource for bringing my hopes and dreams into being. And keeping them in a continual growth dynamic.
Beyond that, surrender has been the key to removing doubt and fear from my consciousness and replacing it with peace, joy and Love.
But if surrender is such a confusing thing that conjures up thoughts of fear, struggle, and uncertainty, why should you listen to anything I say about it?
What does Surrender really mean?
First off, my mention of a cowboy movie hold-up scene with people raising their hands in the air is what comes to mind for me sometimes with surrender. But that’s not how I consciously think about it.
It’s not ironic then that Google’s definition is “to cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.”
If we look at who we’re surrendering to as an enemy or opponent, we’re going to hold on tighter to what we love and create more resistance to letting go.
Second, when what we’re talking about has to do with your dreams and goals, it changes the way think about surrender. But sometimes it also has to do with your problems, fears, and frustrations. Negative feelings that are causing you stress, tension, worry, and emotional trauma.
It’s the stuff you’re working on inside of you that you’re trying to either bring into being or get rid of altogether.
Controlling outcomes takes away from your dreams coming true
How do you deal with problems? Do you wrestle with them and try to take care of them on your own? Do you ask for help or advice, and yet you continue to struggle with what to actually do to bring change into the picture to also bring peace?
What about the stuff that you want to happen? Maybe you write your goals and your plans down regularly. Maybe you keep a journal and you write what you’re going to do today to make those goals happen.
Or you could be someone who also spends time in meditation, getting centered, and focusing on bringing the feeling of your end result coming into being.
Why surrender is essential to lasting peace
It’s in letting go of what you desire, imagine, pray for, or struggle with and turning it over to Divine Love (aka GOD) that makes it happen. Or if you want something taken away (like fear or difficulties), you have to choose to let go.
One way I’ve been practicing surrender is being present in the moment. Take a deep breath, sit back, and choose to be in a relaxed state. Say in my heart/mind/spirit, “I surrender, God.”
Stop trying to figure it out
Stop trying to have the answers or know what to do.
I’m learning that giving up trying to figure it all out is kinda what God is wanting from me anyways. To surrender the moment is the release of control from me to Love. It’s handing over what I think I can control to God so the struggle can end.
In a way, I’m putting my hands up and saying “I give up.” The ambitious and driven side of me has a hard time with this.
Which is why grace is so essential here. There’s a gentleness to this process. This is the true key to peace and happiness because it’s the struggle for control that fosters resistance to the things we want most.
But here’s the cool thing: God isn’t holding a gun on you to force anything to happen.
Because force is what control is all about. It’s when we try to be in control that we lose the peace we seek. Usually, we think that if we don’t surrender, we’re going to be in trouble. But that’s not how Divine Love works.
Divine Love operates with open hands
When you try to control something, you grip it tightly. As a result, there’s no freedom involved. So letting go of control is the key to actually having the peace and happiness you want.
It’s been about bringing stronger connection and bond with yourself and those you love most.
In my recent experiences, it’s been about figuring out what to do with plans for my life and future. From where I live to what want to I experience. I’ve chosen to let go of trying to make it work in my power.
I surrender my relationships and the dreams of the future. I also surrender goals and ambitions. If you truly love, set it free.
In my closest relationship, unspoken tensions have come in when we don’t always know how to communicate them. We felt the tension and sat with it. But when we surrendered trying to know what is going on to bring peace to the situation on our own, we gave up control for God to move. It’s getting out of the way so that true peace can roll through.
And in a matter of moments, the tension would lift. Quickly ease and flow in communication occurred. We opened up and shared. There’s harmony here and it felt good.
No fear, doubt, or worries. All trust, openness, and peace. This is healthy relationship dynamics at work in the present moment.
That’s the power of surrender
And that’s just one example.
Surrender is about giving up control of having everything figured out. There’s a lot of fear and uncertainty in the place that wants to know everything and figure it all out ahead of time. Control is a way to bring harm and hurt to any relationship connection.
It’s why God wants to be the current that flows energetically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically through all of the conduits of the relationship connection. Which is a process.
The secret is in giving up control
To surrender and let yourself be vulnerable.
Image courtesy of John Hain
Surrender involves trust in large quantities. And you can’t have trust without communication and faith. Trust involves a solid faith and confidence in another person. It’s something that grows with time the more you nurture, feed, and cultivate it.
Here’s a cool thing: the more you grow in Love for yourself, the more you grow in trust in yourself. Which grows the trust you place in others, particularly with God.
The same is true for faith and all the other ingredients of Love.
Faith. Hope. Trust. Confidence. Patience. Communication. Peace. Happiness. Kindness. Blessing.
They’re all ingredients of the Divine Love that you were created from. The Love that surrounds you and lives in you.
In 2020, in the midst of a global pandemic that led many to lose business and/or job opportunities, I saw an increase in my business like never before.
I serve people wanting to grow in peace, confidence and healthy relationships learn how to Love themselves fully. And heal from places where they’ve experienced emotional trauma and pain. Letting go of trying to figure out how to grow is what created opportunities to serve more. That’s growth in real terms.
The growth following surrender happened quickly
What was the key? Ultimately it was me surrendering to God. I did it, admittedly in frustration that things continued to be difficult.
But I had been resisting doing things that would bring results. When I chose to surrender in my spirit, God brought me the right people to show me how to grow no matter what economic situations are happening.
Following these new leaders and learning their methods, I surrendered to the process. In two months I was serving more clients than I had served all of the previous year. I also built systems to serve people for definitive results in healing from emotional wounds and learning how to Love yourself.
All of this was because of the practice of surrender and trusting God with the details.
When you choose to surrender, you are giving up your control of making everything work the way you think it’s supposed to. You let go of your notion of the HOW part.
Trust in the Divine Creator and Almighty LOVE to bring to you more than you could ask or imagine. It is done in timing that is perfect for everyone involved.
You can surrender anytime
It’s ok to give up control.
It is a gift to dream, to imagine reality and a future where the things you want most are happening. It’s a joy to get a picture of what that looks and feels like. This is part of the creation and manifestation process.
After you have had the dream, go into the place where you feel what the experience is like. Feel that exhilaration, peace, and happiness.
Then let it go. Give it to God, to the Source of all good things. And trust with solid faith that what you have asked for is on it’s way to you.
This is how you surrender
It’s also how you create the life that you dream of.
Surrender requires patience. And trust. It involves going through a process where you flow in the current of Love without necessarily knowing what you’re doing. It’s ok to not know. That’s where trust and faith come in.
Take your time and allow for unforeseen things to come into play. Go through each individual step required on the journey. That’s where patience comes in.
This is a process, like all of life. Grace and kindness with yourself in this whole endeavor is the way to the freedom, peace and happiness that God has for you.
The ingredients of true LOVE come together to make for the best experience unfolding before you. All you have to do is let go and let God.
D Grant Smith is known as the Growth Farmer, which means he has an old-fashioned approach to living a whole & healthy life. Get his free ebook called Love Is The Seed To Success, that gives help in healing relationships and growing healthy ones. His new book Be Solid: How To Go Through Hell & Come Out Whole is about the journey into self-love and self-care after heartbreak and personal loss. He’s an empowerment superhero who would love to give you encouragement so feel free to reach out!
Image courtesy of Slava.