A never unbroken goddess says that you can have an illusion that you are in the right life, but the second you take that away, there you are. We are always broken, and always here. The brokenness is what makes us who we are, we must be open to it…to allow light to shine upon the cracks.
That is where healing comes from and oh goodness what a trip. Some moments it is peaceful and beautiful and others it is painful and quite confusing. I want to remind us all that all of this is magical, every moment of it. From a gentle kiss on a forehead to a night crying on the floor. It is all relevant and all a part of healing and living.
We hear all the time how important it is to heal, to go through healing. Within my healing I have learned that life itself is healing.
Once I feel like I have healed from one thing, another thing deeper shows up, or I am triggered. This is the journey, continual healing. I used to think it was just a part of your life, like a certain chapter was for healing. But, I feel we will be healing always, as humans who are growing, learning and experiencing. This world has magic built in all of the moments, from ones that we choose to feel joy from and some we feel sadness from. It is so important to be open to life itself, to each moment. Living with passion causes more pain, but it’s so real and raw, it feels like it’s important. So, now I must start to dive in and heal, and know this is not linear.
As I was doing the dishes today I thought to myself…healing is kinda like the dishes maybe? It’s always there..it’s constant..a cleanse. Healing for me today, and who knows as we grow and learn it becomes more our own perspective, but the root we can all relate to. Back to my original point, healing for me today is stopping. It is looking at my inner child…the one that is so confused, the reason for the moments I get triggered, or filled with anxiety.
I sit with her and hold her tight….Treat her like I do when I see someone hurting. In the end I am all she has for sure, so I can take time to nurture her.. let her know she is loved, and oh so wonderful. It is not a bad thing to validate how we feel, to stop and show up for ourselves and hear ourselves. For me, this has made this healing bearable and also magical.
Healing is ready for us whenever we open the door to it.
I had no idea that the reason for my jealousy and anxiety stemmed from major events happening in my life. At the time I had no choice but to stand up and keep going. I was not ready to process the tragedies. I don’t blame that girl for that. She had to do what was needed. When I was ready to open the door to healing.. by ready I mean where it’s not going to consume me.. where I can be mindful enough to be able to look at what I have and still be present in the moment. I opened myself up for healing in a way I never knew was possible. Moments in my life that I just brushed off still had given me perspective and still gave me reason to not trust. That came through in my current life because for one I did not nurture that hurt. So when I was in any situation that could possibly lead to me feeling the way I did in the moment that caused me to be in pain, I was what we hear all the time, triggered. That’s where I am.. nurturing myself. Letting the girl know I will never leave her side. Healing is real, life is real. It is easy to get so caught up in life and for me the story I told myself and still do sometimes is what caught me. There is beauty in all of this; what we went through can have light brought onto it.
We will never be full. We will never be an unbroken goddess. My yoga teacher taught me that in the brokenness, in the times where we are on a pile on the floor crying… in those moments we are the strongest, the Bravest. In our brokenness, we find truth, compassion, love, and will continue to find depths of all the corners of this whole big star filled life we live.
Healing is messy. Allow it to be beautiful. Allow light to be shined on every crack and on every scar.
You are beautiful just the way you are. Healing is not a destination where we have become whole, healing is diving into all the cracks that cause us to be broken. Healing is about finding depths within those moments so that we may understand ourselves. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand the world.
Healing does not mean misery, healing is beautiful. I dare us to be so brave that we can find laughter and joy within healing, and that in the moments of sadness recognize that it’s truly the whole journey. All feelings are welcomed when we heal. Love and hold them all, love and hold yourself.
A goddess is always broken, it’s what we do with the brokenness that counts.
Em Garcia believes in everyone and everything. She is a truth seeker, a yogi, music producer, student, writer and musician. She shares her story in her articles and her songs when she is on stage performing. Em Garcia hosts and speaks at events for love and social justice. Em wants you to know that who you are does not go unnoticed and that you are magical just as you are in this moment. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify, Twitter and YouTube.
Image courtesy of BARBARA RIBEIRO.