When you were a little kid and imagined yourself in a relationship as an adult, how did you see it? Did you imagine yourself happy, having fun, laughing, and crying together? Did you imagine more happy days together than sad? Did you imagine growing and thriving together?
Whatever you imagined your ideal relationship to be, you can have it because you didn’t come to this earth NOT to have a relationship that feels joyful and instills peace in your heart.
When and why did you lose sight of your destiny and your truth?
Did someone say something to you? Did you just get older and more jaded? Relationship after relationship didn’t work out, so you eventually believed that feeling just “ok,” and surviving in a relationship and not thriving is sustainable? It doesn’t matter who or what took away your hope and belief that happy relationships exist; just know that that part of you is still inside- it’s just a matter of accessing it.
I don’t care what anyone says; love is the basis of life. Loving and feeling loved is EVERYTHING, and this goes for every kind of relationship – familial, platonic, and romantic; especially romantic!
When things aren’t going well in our love lives, everything else seems to fall apart, but you don’t need to be the victim of your circumstances. You have a choice, and you can manifest and create the love you deserve versus settling and not being an active participant in your life. You have the power to cultivate your ideal relationship; there’s no reason why you can’t have what you desire and deserve.
I was a guest on the “Let’s Pause Podcast” recently, and towards the end, they asked me what I believe are the three most important and inspirational words to leave the viewers with was, and this is what I told them:
- #1 Intuition
- #2 Self-love
- # 3 Trust
When you have a strong relationship with your intuition, you will never have a regret again…EVER! You need to listen to your inner knowing as it is your compass; it guides you to the abundance, majesty and magic that is there for you, just waiting for you to be open to it!
Self-love is the basis of everything in life. When you love yourself unconditionally, you will attract unconditional love. You don’t judge yourself, and others don’t judge you (or if they do, it won’t bother you). Cultivating self-love will help you lead by example as when you show people what it looks like and the fulfillment, joy, and peace it brings you, they will say things like, “I’ll have what she’s having!” Drinking from the well of self-love grants you freedom beyond your wildest dreams.
Can you trust that your past couldn’t have happened any other way? That everything is planned out, and that everything, the “good” and “bad,” ALL happened to lead you to where you are today in this very moment? Cultivating trust in yourself and the universe sets you up to be in the flow of life versus resisting the natural flow of life. No one’s life is perfect, and everyone has challenges. Embrace your challenges, then trust and see that they happened for a reason to help you learn and grow.
I mention this to empower you to know that your love is out there, just waiting to meet you. You don’t need to become “more” of anything. Your strength of heart and self-love is already within you. You need to get past and heal anything (including you) that’s in your way that’s blocking you from accessing your authentic self, your self-love, and here’s how to do it!
Just think of the word “L-O-V-E!”
Let go of the past. Sticking around and dwelling in the past doesn’t serve any purpose, and the only thing that it does is it causes depression and prevents you from being able to bring in the right one for you.
If you feel like you have been struggling to let go of your past relationship and you find yourself ruminating over how you could’ve done it differently to yield a better outcome, you need to remind yourself to be present; bring yourself back to the present moment. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting; au contraire. To me, letting go means remembering how you felt and using it as leverage. You don’t need to let go of your feelings; you’re letting go of the person.
Be grateful that you had the experience of knowing what it feels like to be in love. Use it as a basis for the bar that has been set, i.e. the “heart bar.” Now you know how much your heart can feel, so anything less than that will not be aligned with you. Understand that the person you end up with, you will feel as much if not more for them because the universe brings us “this or something better,” so set that intention!
Be open to whatever is meant for you. Stop resisting what the universe brings forth because there is a reason why it’s in your life. For example, say you go to an event, and you’re hoping to meet someone who floats your boat there, and you don’t – well- you never know who is there who could lead you to “The one.” You could be talking to someone and become friends, and then their best friend or sibling might end up being your soulmate… you never know.
Being open also means that your heart needs to be open no matter what happened in the past that closed your heart. You need to open it again so the universe knows that you are open for business, and when you meet someone, you need to take those walls down so that you can actually let someone in to see who you really are, which brings me to ….
Vulnerability means sharing who you are unapologetically, no matter what, with no attachment to the outcome – not caring how your partner will react and believing that if they love you unconditionally, they will not leave. As a matter of fact, when two people are supposed to be together, having the ability to truly share honestly, is how you connect and bond and stay together….
Be the best version of you possible. Do the work to really get to know yourself and love yourself to manifest your match. It’s attractive when you meet someone who is whole and secure; they know who they are and what they have to offer, so the same goes for you; be that whole person who is already happy in your life, and when you meet your match, they will only add to your happiness. Be “self-full.” It’s not selfish or selfless- it’s being one hundred percent fulfilled in your life before meeting the one. I always say that the most beautiful relationships are the ones where two whole people who are full of light come together and create more light and magic in this world.
So this valentine’s day, no matter what your relationship status is, use that day to set your intention for the year ahead, actually for your life ahead.
Know that whatever is for the highest good of all concerned will come forth at the right time; all you need to do is stay conscious and do all that is in your power to show up authentically in this world and love yourself unconditionally. Believe in yourself and watch as your incredible life unfolds. You will bring in your “person” at the perfect time.
Never forget to trust the timing of your life. Always remember to believe in yourself and honor your dreams because you CAN make your dreams a reality. Tell the little one inside that you’ve got this and together you will create all that your heart desires.
Jaime Bronstein is a relationship therapist, coach and host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio. She was named the “#1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives in 2020” by Yahoo Finance. For the past 20 years, Jaime has been teaching her clients how to heal their past, love themselves unconditionally, how to be vulnerable, tap into their inner strengths and intuition, and live more authentically to achieve their relationship goals. Jaime is highly sought-after to share her relationship advice on various media outlets such as KTLA, ABC, NBC and CBS News, PEOPLE, Thrive Global, and Bustle. Jaime empowers her clients to become aware of the fact that they were born to have love in their lives – not just any love – the right love for them. Jaime has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Boston University, a master’s degree in social work from New York University, and a certificate in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. Jaime’s book on manifesting love is currently in the works. Find her online at www.therelationshipexpert.com and catch her on-camera radio show. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. To check out some of Jaime’s work, click on her sizzle reel link: https://vimeo.com/371954437.