Early this morning, I awoke to the sound of rolling thunder in the far distance, just beyond bedroom window. Coupled with the occasional flash of lightening casting a strobe-light effect through my sheer curtains, I could not help but lie awake and intrinsically beg for more storm centered splendor. Then came the steady downpour of rain, which acted as a sleep agent, gently lulling me back to full and sweet slumber.
There is nothing I find more soothing than the sound of rhythmic rain coupled with an occasional drum of thunder. Bowling in heaven, tears of the angels, God gaining a boisterous soul. So many familiar allegories that describe a good old-fashioned thunderstorm.
In thunderstorms past, one or both of my sons would generally find their way to my room. Feeling frightened by the roaring booms and flashes of light, they both sought comfort only a mother can provide. I was somewhat disheartened last night that neither son seemed bothered by the rumble outside their bedroom window.
What once served as a sure-fire means toward a nightly comfort cuddle and splendid spooning session, now shows the measure of growth my boys have secretly mastered right under my very mothering nose.
When did my sons stop being afraid of thunderstorms? When did they cease to ask for help with homework? When did they start giving ME relationship advice instead of the other way around?
This coming of age stuff is for the birds! I miss the days they needed me. Sought comfort only I, as their maternal figure, could give.
Perhaps this is simply a shifting of the tide. They still need me, only in different ways.
Hearing my voice in the vast crowd of other parents at my oldest son’s basketball game. Calling out to my younger son when he makes a victorious play on the field at flag football. Walking them through the mystery of their changing bodies, feelings, fears, and passions. Silently encouraging the noticeable steps toward adolescence. Engaging in semi-adult conversation, which seems deeper and more mature as they days busily fly by. Being open to learning from them just as they always have learned from me.
Our relationships daily transition, just as the seasons are continually shifting.
Some changes are more notable than others. Some slip by and catch you off-guard until they loudly thunder and brightly flash right before your very eyes. Instead of fighting against these natural shifts, I am trying to actively embrace them. To remain open to the new realm of possibility that each shift can bring forth.
Just as the roaring thunder and sightly lightning settle my soul, so too, can the shifting, settling, growing, and acknowledging of relationships gaining ground individually as well as collectively. My sons may no longer fear the storms in the deepest dark of night, but I will never stop offering the comfort they need when faced with the inevitable daily battles of life.
Amannda Maphies has always gone by Manndi; and yes, it has two n’s. It is actually a perfect moniker for her as she’sa bit (more than a bit) zany, wacky, crazy and loves nothing more than to laugh at herself and share that laughter with others. Manndi works fulltime at the UMKC School of Pharmacy, has two boys, William (10) and Waylan (8). She loves to write so she recently started posting on Facebook about her daily adventures about everything from being a single mom of two wild and crazy boys to dating after divorce, to more serious topics such as the loss of a loved one and suicide awareness. She trie to infuse humor, relatability and a touch of inspiration into each of her pieces. One day, she will compile them for a memoir of her life. Manndi’s life motto is ‘live a life you would want to read about’ and she strives everyday to reach others with her words. She feels that you are only as happy as you choose to be and she CHOOSES happiness over all other emotions. She is honored to be featured in a publication named ‘Positively Positive’ because that is truly how she strives to live life.
Image courtesy of Aline Nadai.