My daughter wants to be a filthy-rich, world-renowned OB-GYN with an amazing husband, two or three kids, and plenty of animals. She loves dreaming this dream. She is ten years old. My other daughter, age eight, wants to be an abstract artist or a comedienne, or maybe both. She has similar love and parenting dreams to my eldest.
So when do we stop wanting exactly what we want and dreaming big and talking about it freely? Probably some time after the first onslaught of rude awakenings, insults, or disappointments. I’m hoping that day never comes for my kids, but I know it came for me, and I don’t even have a history of abuse. I know it comes for all the people we coach at Handel, or they wouldn’t be coming back to us to re-ignite and plan their dreams.
Fact is, in our culture, as you “grow up,” you are almost supposed to let your dreams die. You are supposed to get “realistic.” Luckily, here in this blog community, we are ushering in a new culture, in which dreaming for your life not only feels good but uplifts humanity by improving the consciousness in which we all swim.
So, let’s say you’ve agreed to get back to dreaming. Bravo! I am going to share the tips I’ve learned from coaching people in dreaming for years.
1. Write It Down
The act of writing down your dreams is the first step to making them happen. Writing is a powerful way to think, plan, and cause change in your life. If you write your dreams in the way I suggest, reading them will evoke a visceral response. Getting yourself into the “feeling state” of your desires is key to your ability to manifest them. Writing helps you consciously craft. You have to face it all when you write it down, and you will easily see what fits and doesn’t, what feels great to read and what doesn’t. If you take your time, the writing itself will be a heart exercise and a spiritual journey that your soul has been dying to take. Yup, writing it out will get you a lot more present, a lot more emotional, and a lot more “on the hook.” Goodie.
2. Take out the Negatives
Most clients begin dreaming from a point of what they don’t want. This is probably because it’s easier for us as humans to understand change from what does exist already. We can barely help how tethered we are mentally to the past and the present circumstances, but help it, we must. Writing dreams is a purely creative endeavor, so you must suspend disbelief for a little while so you can design a future based on your ideals, not “what you expect.” Here are some examples:
“I no longer hate looking in the mirror.” versus “When I walk by the mirror, I think WOW and feel full of pride.”
“I finally pay down my debt.” versus “I enjoy paying my bills on time, and I have extra money leftover!”
“I stop picking jerks.” versus ”I am in love with my soulmate.”
3. Take Out the Hidden Jabs and Sarcasm
Your real, true, heartfelt dream has no room for jabs at others or yourself. Most people unintentionally weave in these little buggers, which end up zapping the power right out of their dreams. Read through your dream, and if you feel your good vibrations dip at a certain line, you may have snuck in sarcasm or a jab.
“My mom and I can finally be in the same room.” versus “My mom and I treasure our time together.”
“I make zillions of dollars.” versus “I am compensated abundantly for my work, and my feelings of value start with me.”
4. Make It Real
Most of us will go from one extreme to the other; when we aren’t jabbing, we’re going to “pie in the sky.” Your dream has to be believable, real, and uniquely you. Remove any clichés because they distance you from the feeling of your dream by being “fluff.” You want to force yourself to think about and write what you actually mean, like:
“I feel like a million bucks.” versus “I am awake and alive.”
“No more love handles.” versus “My body is trim and lean.”
“He is the love of my life” versus “I am so grateful for him.”
Then check for extremes and replace them with something truer, like these:
“I’m always present with my kids.” versus “I am present with my kids.”
“I have the perfect schedule.” versus “I adore making and sticking to my schedule.”
“I never scream.” versus “Peaceful interactions are the norm in my life.”
5. Write It in the “Now”
Write your dream in present tense language. As you can probably already tell, this exercise is about getting you to focus on being the person who could fulfill this dream. Writing it in the present tense will have you feel it right now, making it easier to draw it to you.
Sidenote: writing your dreams in the present tense will also force you to face your disbelief and negative voices. It’s important to face and transform these too, because if left unattended, they will undermine you from the inside out (very dangerous).
Are you ready to start? Success begins now; start now.
As President of Handel Group® Life Coaching and a Senior Coach, Laurie Gerber’s personal and professional mission is to better the world by teaching people to tell the truth and pursue their dreams. Her ability to strip away psychological and emotional burdens has been showcased on radio, TV, the blogosphere, and in a wide variety of live events. Laurie regularly leads events at Kripalu, Esalen, Menla, Equinox, and more. Her growing TV career includes MTV’s True Life Special: I’m Getting A Second Chance and an upcoming pilot for A&E. Follow Laurie on Facebook and Twitter.
*Photo by Chris Kealy