This past September and October, I was navigating through highly turbulent waters, trying to keep my marriage afloat. Isn’t it odd that it’s the people closest to us who can hurt us the most? You know, a harsh word said or a kind word withdrawn, being ignored by a friend, or rejected by the spouse. I was experiencing all of these simultaneously. It felt as if my solar plexus was being punched with an iron fist day after day. I was shattered and disoriented.
“How can I write anything spiritually meaningful when I’m a total mess?”
But I sat down in my reclining chair at the bay window anyway, hugging the coffee mug in my hands. I sipped the comforting drink, and stared at the dancing branches and leaves of the oak, river birch, and mulberry trees, breathing, slowly. And the words came: the poetry and prose. From the ether around me, from the light still flickering within each broken shard of my Soul. Gradually, the thoughts about the anatomy of the Soul emerged. Yes, I can be open and feel safe at the same time. I sighed in relief, as the dark clouds gently parted.
Our Soul is protected at two levels: the outer barrier and the inner membrane. The shield on the outside reflects away the harm from the external negativity and darkness. The protective lace spirals up and down our inner core to prevent the gnawing anxieties and worries from eating us alive.
We’re more familiar with the outer barrier. But inside, at the very core of our Soul, shines a chord of light, linking us with our Highest Self, almost like a spine. And there we can create another protective layer that helps strengthen the vertical spirit connection, so we don’t crumble when hit very hard by life.
Yes, I’m a hypersensitive person. It’s in my genes to merge with energy emanating from people and environment: a gift and a curse. Yes, I’m addicted to emotional drama, as a consequence of being an empath.
But I want to sail calm waters, I want to enjoy the sunrises and sunsets in peace, while feeling fully alive.
And now I know I can. I have the tools. I can allow people to enter into the space between my outer and inner protective layer. There’s no longer the need to build a wall around my Soul to avoid difficult emotions, to shield me from people that can hurt me. The outer fence can be a breathing veil, through which people and experiences can enter; yet, it reflects away any negativity and darkness no longer serving my inner growth. I need no longer be afraid of people and events that are in my immediate environment because my resilient inner core can graciously bend without breaking.
As I schedule time for myself to slow down and breathe, I embrace peace. I let go of fears based on past experiences, and I allow the future become, free of past-colored anxieties. It may only be a moment at first, and then a string of peaceful moments. Soon, it becomes a habit to step back into my innermost core to be quiet, to connect with the light of my ever present Highest Self. Through regular, hopefully daily practice of contemplation, I weave my intricate unique lace, up and down my column of light, becoming more resilient to the outer world’s insults while maintaining the sense of vibrancy and aliveness.
Weave a unique lace with your joys and sorrows to protect you from within. @MartaWiz
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And yes, I can still feel, but on a higher and more refined level. The old waves of emotions appear crude now: the trappings of lower sensibilities, imprisoned by physicality. As I stand in my personal column of light, I feel the soil beneath my feet, I am one with the Earth. I take its life sustaining energy and pull it into my heart. At the same time, I’m fully aware of my spiritual nature. I receive the Cosmic Light from above and let it to shine into my heart. And there, in my human heart, Light and Life merge in Love. Through this Love, my inner core becomes stronger and wider. I can now breathe in my own peace and quiet more often and longer. I can shine calm and hope to those in my Soul’s circle. Darkness is dissolving, negativity is disappearing. Yes, there’s hope for all of us to walk upon this Earth as fully realized humans, shining Divine peace as we work together for the good of all.
Over to you, dear soulful readers:
How do you stay open, yet feel protected through the life’s storms?
Marta Stemberger, MA, is the Soulful Wizardess behind the weekly blog Soulful Sparks of Inspiration, and the author of Soulful Sparks Calendar 2016. While drawn to ponder deeper meanings of existence her whole life, Marta’s open to all spiritual traditions and has explored several of them, but likes to focus on Western esoteric wisdom. Hence, her interest in Rudolf Steiner’s Calendar of the Soul, which inspires her weekly sparks, published every Sunday to encourage us all to commune with our Soul, to find our own unique, harmonious flow in life. You can catch the sparks on her website, Facebook, and The Huffington Post.
Image courtesy of Manuel Inglez.January 14, 2016