A few months ago my life turned upside down. One night I fell asleep cuddling my boyfriend, the man I had spent close to a year with, who I shared everything with, who I was planning to move in with. The next afternoon our relationship was over. There was no argument, and there was no warning. My life transformed in an instant.
There are times in our lives when things suddenly change. Our relationship shockingly ends, someone close to us dies, we lose a job, we’re forced to make choices we’ve been putting off making because we don’t want everything to change so much.
We all resist change. We resist it because it feels hard. It forces us to face really difficult feelings that we often don’t know how to deal with.
I went through a breakup several years ago with someone I loved more deeply than I’d loved anyone at that time. And then we both moved on. We both fell in love with other people, and this time I fell in love even more deeply. I was cleared out and opened up for something new.
I have lost clients only to make better ones. I have left jobs to find something more deeply fulfilling. I have left cities to move somewhere that felt more like home. I have left relationships in order to feel more deeply met. I have had health issues that have pointed to deeper truths. Every single time my life has felt like it was falling apart I have emerged as a new person.
So often we’re blinded by our life circumstances that we don’t see the wisdom that’s being presented to us. I was in so much pain through my breakup, but I was connected enough to my spirit to listen to the signs. I kept hearing it:
You’re being cleared out for something incredible to come in.
I heard it from a massage therapist, from a student, and from a dear friend. And then I started to hear it within myself. So I started to let go. I started to trust that I was exactly where I needed to be. I allowed myself to hear the wisdom that was being presented to me.
I have found all of the right teachers at the right times. When I took a moment to lift my chin up, to pull myself out of my self-pity, to find the strength to move, I found the messages I needed. In my toughest times I needed support from someone else in order to grow into the new version of myself. It’s really difficult to see ourselves clearly in the aftermath of destruction. This support was the difference between from me suffering for many months in pain and confusion and me embracing my truth and moving into my new life with excitement.
Many of us get stuck because we want something different for ourselves but we don’t know what the right choice is. We’re too afraid to make the wrong choice that we make no choice at all, inevitably the worst choice. At least if you choose to try something on, learn a new technique or work with someone new, at least then you’re moving. If it ends up not being for you, guess what? You can switch gears and try something else on.
On the other hand, if you make no choice, if you are so paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice, then you’re living in default. You are no longer the creator of your life. You are now sinking in quicksand and waiting for some unidentified hero to save you.
And then you’re just pissing your soul off.
Because your soul knows you are here to live a big life, a great life, an incredible life. And you’re stuck in quicksand.
Imagine if you decided to choose something instead. Imagine all of the incredible possibilities for your life. You don’t actually have to spend hours trying to decide if it’s the right thing or not. You can just choose it. You can choose to be guided. You can choose to allow. You can choose to trust. You can choose to open up instead of shutting down.
You are going to make mistakes in life, and that is ok.
Let it be ok. Don’t let your fear of choosing the right thing hold you back from choosing. Take a chance. That’s what you’re here for. Step into yourself and really allow yourself to live.
Things are going to happen to you in your life. You are going to get your heart broken. You’re going to be disappointed by people. Things are not going to go your way all the time. Your life might get flipped upside down when you least expect it.
You can still have a remarkable life. You can get through the pain, hear the wisdom, and open yourself up. The truth is that everything you want is possible. You just have to choose to make it possible. You have to allow yourself to open the door to something new.
Are you going to let it in?
Michelle D’Avella supports sensitive souls as they face the difficult challenges in life and guides them in processing and releasing blockages so they can live a life they love. Learn more about Michelle and her work at pushingbeauty.com and follow her on Instagram for daily doses of inspiration. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.
Image courtesy of Ismael Nieto.