Reality check: all of us are aging. From the time we are born, we are going toward death. How does this make you feel? How do you feel about aging in general?

As I have discussed before, much of our thoughts and beliefs evolve from our family. Growing old is no exception to the downloaded blueprint.

Take a moment and ask yourself how your parents aged or are aging. What happened or is happening in their lives? If their identity revolved around physical labor and being physically fit and active, as they are losing those abilities, how are they handling it? Oftentimes, people will fall into depression as their physical capabilities and independence falters. The same is true for those whose self-esteem came from mental acuity, and now age-related dementia or, worse yet, Alzheimer’s has set in.

Aging is scary. It is scary to lose your vision, your hearing, your ability to drive, sew, bake, do yard work, and whatever other activity you once enjoyed, and your memory. As we watch our loved ones age, we too become fearful of our own mortality and commonly say, “This is never happening to me.”

You do have a choice in how you approach aging, but you do not have a choice to age. 

Some Fearless Aging Tips and Tricks

1. Be Realistic

As you move through the years, it is important to be realistic and mourn the things that go. You will not have the butt of a twenty year old when you are fifty, and that’s ok. That’s how it’s supposed to be! Try to love and appreciate the whole of you. Being realistic is also about being in loving acceptance of where you are in the aging process.

Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on women but men too, to be unrealistically young. It’s a double-edged sword. There is an expectation of eternal youth that plastic surgery, injectables, and expensive products promise to deliver. However, there is no denying how old you actually are. You still have the organs, skin, muscles, and blood of however many years you have been on this planet. Further, media, along with friends, colleagues, family, and strangers, often scrutinize someone for getting a facelift or a breast lift or whatever lifted. So, we are not supposed to look older, but we’re not supposed to look like we’ve had work done either. Are we somehow supposed to miraculously freeze in time? I don’t know about you, but I would not go back to my twenties even if it meant regaining the butt I had back then! Every phase of life, in my experience, is better than the last. I would not trade my life experience and the wisdom I have gained for less wrinkles. Don’t get me wrong; I am definitely going down swinging and doing what is within my power to stay healthy and strong as I age, but it is not an obsession.

It can be seductive to think that there are magical ways to reverse aging. There isn’t, but there are appropriate lifestyle choices that can make the process less anxiety provoking and add quality to the next half of your life.

2. Stay Physically Fit and Eat Healthy

Obviously. I don’t need to go into the myriad of benefits of proper exercise and nutrition. Hydration, antioxidants, minerals, healthy fats all keep you glowing from the inside out. Maintaining physical strength improves bone and muscle mass while keeping the metabolism burning, the heart pumping, and the other organs movin’ and groovin’. Both nutrition and exercise also serve to detoxify the body, keeping the system healthy.

3. Work Out Your Brain

Again, the studies abound as to the importance of keep your mind sharp and focused. Read, learn a new language, travel to different cultures, do puzzles—all are proven ways to increase and maintain mental acuity and memory.

4. Stay Connected

My pal and fellow Positively Positive contributor Dr. Lissa Rankin wrote a very poignant piece about how meaningful relationships add years to your life and life to your years. Being empathic keeps you young at heart (and keeps the other parts of your insides young too).

5. Control Your Environment

Don’t live in clutter—literally and emotionally. Don’t have a job or participate in activities that require you to sit in traffic for hours on end. These are examples of taxing lifestyle choices that increase anxiety (and, therefore, the aging process).

It is totally possible to embrace the aging process and do it fearlessly! But as with everything, the choice is yours. Choose fearlessness rather than denial, which does not produce the results you seek and keeps you constricted and stuck.

Let’s talk about aging. I know you have some thoughts about it and maybe some questions or need advice, so please share. Let’s use the comments section as a way to start a dialogue about the myths and truths of aging, the hardship of watching a loved one age, and the fear that comes from facing our own aging and ultimate mortality.

I hope you have an amazing weekend, embracing you, REAL age and all, and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love


Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Tune Up Tips and follow her on Twitter.

*Photo Credit: f1uffster (Jeanie) via Compfight cc