Do you ever feel like there are certain people you always seem to argue with or they really annoy you? Even though they have done nothing wrong and no matter how hard you try to smile and be polite it almost seems impossible?
I think we all have people like that in our lives right? And the interesting thing is, that these type of people continue to come along into our lives, just when we think we have got rid of them and moved on. And you know what? They will continue to appear in your life over and over, unless…we look within to make changes.
The truth is even though these people come into our lives and we try to move away from them, avoid them, change jobs, end relationships etc, that is only a temporary fix. The only permanent way to fix this “problem” is by looking within ourselves.
The true power lies within and that is where we can go within and make that change.
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Michael Singer in his book “The Untethered Soul” speaks of this so beautifully. He compares it to having a thorn (which is an external thing) that is stuck in our skin and causing us much pain (internal affect).
So we have a choice. We can keep the thorn in and cover it up, so we can avoid the pain of taking it out. So, in order to avoid the pain we cover it up and change our life around, so that we don’t have to annoy the thorn that is still stuck in our skin and endure pain. We stop going to certain places, doing certain activities etc, so that we won’t knock the place where the thorn sits. By changing our life, which is a very limited life, we avoid the pain.
But the other choice we have is simply pulling the thorn out. Even though there will be pain, it is only temporary and when out the internal pain will stop. When we do that we don’t have to live a limited life covered in “bandages” and avoid situations that will cause us pain. Once we deal with this once, it is done and we can enjoy our life to the fullest.
In my own personal life I ruined a lot of friendships all the way back to High School days because of my own internal “issues”. Back then it was OK to dump a friend and not think too much about it, as I moved to new classes each year and then onto college and then starting my career in LA, etc. I could avoid “these people” and “situations” that caused me so much pain.
But it was only later on in life when I settled into my Mom years and started my business that I realized the problem was not the external triggers, but rather my own internal beliefs that were causing me pain. It was really tough for me to accept that. I was a little stubborn and also liked to control everything at times.
I felt like I was weak for feeling this way and tried to fight it. But when I just let go and went internally, the pain just dissolved and I haven’t experienced those issues with the same intense power as in the past.
Sure now there are other things that annoy me, but now I know too look within first before blaming and pointing the finger.
So here are a few tips for you to apply to your life to help you dissolve internal pain that is causing you to live a limited life:
See the problem as a teacher – One of the most powerful techniques we can use in our lives, is by looking at the source of our problems as being the teacher in our lives, that will help us grow. When we do this, instead of trying to avoid the problem and the pain, we look at it from a perspective of using the problem to highlight the area within ourselves that needs to dissolve.
By doing this, we give ourselves the power. The power is no longer in the external person, event or situation but rather within ourselves. Instead of being at the mercy of the situation, event or person, we bring the power and the ability to change within ourselves. This is an extremely powerful exercise when you use it in your life and can help you make huge change pretty quickly.
Stop looking externally for solutions – We need to realize that the power is within us and we don’t need to always go looking for the magic pill or to wish everything to go away. Real and lasting change happens when we look internally as the source of our problems and try to work on those internal issues first before looking externally for the solution.
Don’t be afraid of change – change is good so we don’t have to be scared and run away from it. When we experience discomfort it is because we are stepping out of our comfort zone and challenging our belief systems. That is a good thing and that is what helps us grow us a person.
Don’t see negative emotions as a bad thing – our emotions are powerful and negative ones cause a lot of discomfort. That is a good thing in that it is telling us something. It is sending us a signal that something is OFF! It is literally yelling at us, to tell us that we need to make some change internally.
The problem is that we have been taught that negative emotions are a bad thing, when in fact that is not true. See them as your helper to catch your thoughts and go internally to make change.
When I implemented these changes my life changed so much and I encourage you to embrace these tips into your life.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, Kick-A$$ Business Guru, 7 Figure MOM-treprenuer. and passionate about empowering others to live the life of their dreams and is based in Boulder, CO. Hayley creates lifestyle transformations by coaching her clients to become the best WHOLE version of themselves possible. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.