Last week I was having one of those challenging days with my little six year old daughter. So let me just state from the start that I absolutely adore her and she really is the joy of my life…now having said that, she is one tough and independent little cookie that loves to test Mommy from time to time.
To be honest it happens a lot as all of you with kids would know.
Well it was one of those days, where I had a crazy amount of work, I was feeling a little cranky as I had been traveling, was tired and felt like I was coming down with a cold. She chose this particular day to be the boss…or at least try to be.
She was insisting on wearing the socks she wanted, even though they didn’t match. She insisted on wearing the shoes she wanted, even though I was trying to explain that high heels just wouldn’t be the best choice for the playground at school (can you imagine the vision of running around the wood chipped playground in high heels and socks?
She didn’t want her normal breakfast. All of a sudden, everything that she usually loved didn’t fit her tastes, and she was insisting on having to shower before school and wash her hair as there was a sticky piece of glue still in her hair from crafts the previous day.
You know these type of days right? When your little angel starts to grow horns for a few hours? Well, this was it and by the time I got to the school and dropped her off I had, had enough. I was frustrated and stressed and to be honest I was starting to get negative on myself. The self doubt was creeping in with thoughts like…
“Am I a bad Mother?”, “Have I raised a spoilt child?”, “Am I too soft or do I need to be stricter?”, “Am I cut out to be a parent?”, “What’s she going to be like when she is older?” and all this other negative garbage. I felt pretty crappy to be honest.
That’s when I realized I had to change my thoughts, stop feeling sorry for myself and being a victim. Instead I decided to figure out…”How I can learn from this?”, “How can I take this experience and become a better Mother?”, “What lesson is there in this situation for me and others?”
And I started adding more thoughts like…”Madeline is amazing. She is so independent. This behavior is going to serve her later. She knows exactly what she wants. She is a real leader.”
After changing my thoughts my whole vibration changed and I felt so much better, just by simply acknowledging the way I felt and having the awareness to decide to change my thoughts.
So what could have been a terrible day, actually ended up being amazingly productive and fulfilling. I worked out a solution with consequences for her and focused on where I could change my reactions too.
I was actually grateful to my daughter for the experience and thought of other areas she had “taught” me about life or re-awakened within me over the years and that is what I want to share with you now.
- Be Yourself – As we grow older we often lose touch with who we really are and what we wanted to really become. We get guided too much by society and placed into boxes. We need to remember to let our own true unique personality with all our little faults and quirks shine right on through. As Oscar Wilde said…”Be yourself everyone else is taken.”
- Doesn’t matter what others think, do it anyway – I love it when my I see the way my daughter dresses sometimes. The colors, patterns and outfits she wears are so crazy and outrageous. Sometimes I have to stop myself from bursting out laughing, because they are so way out there. But you know what? She is absolutely in love with the outcome and doesn’t give a hoot about what anyone else thinks. Why? Because she is happy. So how are you letting others opinions control your life? Why do you allow them to do that?
- Just have fun – One of the things I love about watching my daughter is the amount of fun she has. Even when learning a new move at Gymnastics and has pretty much no idea of how to do the move properly, it doesn’t matter at all. She absolutely loves it and immerses herself in it with pure joy. Think about the areas of your life you take too seriously. Where can you add more fun?
- Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself – My daughter is super independent and strong willed, just like me I guess…She is not afraid to stand up for herself at all. And it is not about being pretentious in anyway, she just believes in herself and she will let you know when she thinks you are being unreasonable or she doesn’t agree with you. Are you letting people walk right over you? Do you battle to find your own voice in the world?
- You can’t do it all alone – As strong and independent as she is, she still doesn’t hesitate to call me when she needs help…most of the time. Sometimes she thinks she can do it all though and insists that she is ok and will be able to do it all. Only for me to leave the room and come back a little later finding her curled up and crying in frustration that her attempts to build her fantasy castle failed. What are you trying to do all by yourself? Why do you not ask others for help? Why do you think you need to be able to do everything without getting help?
- It’s ok to be vulnerable – Kids are vulnerable and so are us adults…we ALL are. And yes that includes you men too. It is ok to show your vulnerability and show the world that you’re not bullet proof. Do you show your vulnerability or do you hide it? Ask yourself why you feel you need to hide your vulnerability?
- Be independent – As much as we need the help of others and be able to show our vulnerability, it is also ok to spread your wings and fly by yourself. Be strong and don’t overly rely on others. Allow your true self to shine through, trust your instincts and allow yourself to soar! Are there areas in your life, where you are overly reliant on others? How can you change that?
- Know what you want and go for it – Madeline is not easily convinced out of what she wants. As much as that can be frustrating, the truth is she knows what she wants and she places a laser like focus on it, until it happens. If she wants to do that cartwheel at gym, she isn’t going to quit, no matter how times she fails. Is there something in life you want really badly and you gave up on? Did you give up too easily? Did you try everything possible to make it happen?
I hope you enjoyed this helpful advice from my kid.
There are so many lessons we can learn from children, both our own and others. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)
Look out for these wonderful lessons that you can pick up from them. They are an absolute gift.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, Kick-A$$ Business Guru, 7 Figure MOM-treprenuer. and passionate about empowering others to live the life of their dreams and is based in Boulder, CO. Hayley creates lifestyle transformations by coaching her clients to become the best WHOLE version of themselves possible. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.