There is so much loss in making big decisions.

Most of them include saying goodbye to something you have done for a long time.

An experience your brain is used to having.

A way of life you have known.

An expression of self.

Making a big decision requires you to feel loss.

And this is why we keep postponing them.

We try to avoid more pain.

Change is full of grief, did you know?

One of the things that I have done for years in my classes was to teach my students how to trick the brain so they feel less grief and fear in making a big decision.

So we break the decision in to many pieces and start with just one piece.

By the end, you get to change your life in the least painful way.

I know you also have a big decision to make and you have been postponing it.

I don’t blame you.

But can we just talk about it a little?

Tell me your big decision.

You don’t have to do anything about it.

Get a piece of paper and write it down.

Write the thing you want to do but you haven’t told many people, maybe not even anyone.

You don’t even like to tell yourself about it because you think you can never make it happen.

Yes, that is what I want you to write down.

It may be that you want to sell your house and move away.

Or that you want to resign from your job.

Maybe even that you want to leave a relationship.

And something even more bold than all of the above put together.

It may even be something you will never dare to do.

Ha. I know.

Yes, write that down.

That you want to be an actress in your 50s.

Or move to Hawaii in your 60s.

Maybe even write a book or two.

Paint beautiful paintings.

Go back to school.

Maybe your big decision is too expensive and you can’t afford it, you better write that down also.

I want so many things for your life.

I want as much as I want for mine.

Sometimes I dream about walking through a Star Wars movie set and hearing them say ‘action.’

I dream about having my own beach house, or living next to a big red rock in Sedona.

I think about my decision to become a painter.

And all the big decisions I don’t dare say to anyone.

I write them down.

And leave them there for a while.

Sometimes I have left them there for years. It’s ok.

The road to a big decision sometimes is a long one. @SecondFirsts (Click to Tweet!)

Let’s start today.

What is your big decision?

Write it down, take that piece of paper with you today, wherever you go.

It’s your first tiny step towards changing your life.

Just like that we exit the old life, and enter the new.

A piece of paper, some bold words and off we go.

With big decisions,


Christina Rasmussen is the creator and founder of The Life Reentry Institute, Second Firsts, The Life Starters and Star Letters. Christina is on a crusade to help millions of people rebuild, reclaim, and relaunch their lives using the power of their own minds. Christina’s work has been featured on ABC News, NPR, The White House Blog, and She is the bestselling author of Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again, which has also been translated in Chinese and German and is currently working on her second book on expanding the mind in ways that allows co-creation with the forces of the universe. She is also writing her first work of fiction: a science fiction story about a woman on a quest to start over and begin a new life. You can find more information on her website and follow her on FB or Twitter.

Image courtesy of Eunice Stahl.