Do you ever feel as if you have really healed an issue or gotten to the other side of a difficult situation and then WHAM something happens and all of a sudden you feel like you are back at the beginning?
Are we ever done? Do things get easier? Is it possible to truly be free of something that has plagued us for decades?
No, yes and yes.
No we are never done. Life is a continual process of learning and growing. But, yes, things do get easier and, yes, we can truly be free of things that have haunted us for a lifetime. Some things just take longer than others and we need multiple lessons.
Also, a lot of issues have many layers to them and our psyche can only deal with so much a time. The way I have seen healing work is that we have times of tremendous breakthroughs that carry us for a while and then, when we are ready for the next layer to be revealed and healed, a triggering event will occur to move us to the next level in our growth.
I recently had an experience where a very old and familiar button got pushed and it is one of my biggest buttons: rejection. It was unexpected but hauntingly familiar.
This time instead of getting sad, I got mad. I was so over that button being pushed in the way it was pushed that I went into that “No, not this again” kind of feeling. At first I tried to resist it but as we all know, that is not effective. I had to put my life coach hat on and remind myself that there must be another level of healing for me to get to with this particular issue. When an old, familiar button gets pushed it just means the button is still there.
What I realized is that once again I was taking the rejection personally instead of seeing that it was happening for me and could have been the result of the other person’s fear or limiting beliefs. In other words, maybe it had nothing to do with me. Now I can get that mentally but embracing that concept has been challenging for me. So I channeled my anger into being mad at the fact that I have given my power away so many times when I took rejection personally. Let me emphasize, I did not direct anger at myself (never direct anger at yourself). Rather, I expressed how angry I was about allowing others to ever make me question my own worthiness.
The next level for me was reaching an even deeper level of empowerment and trust that whatever is not for my Highest Good will not happen. This level also required letting go of attachment. (I wrote about that last week so if you missed that blog, read it here)
So if you can relate to the feeling, “Oh no not this again” I assure you that you are on the precipice of your next upleveling!! Do not buy into the misunderstanding that you are backtracking because you are not. There is another layer to explore that you are ready for . . . now all you need to do is be willing to explore it.
Stop resisting. Stop judging. Stop being frustrated that you are working on the same issue because it is not exactly the same, it is occurring in a new way so you can learn something new. @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
Our biggest, most recurring issues and triggers are also our biggest growth opportunities, so embrace them! Welcome the familiar trigger because it means deep down you really want to relate to it differently and the only way we can relate to things differently is through practical application. In other words, to truly be free of our deepest pain, we draw in situations that trigger it until we learn how to relate to the trigger in a way that does not cause us pain.
Now is the time to flood yourself with so much compassion. Be a student rather than a victim of your life. Trust you are moving forward and be grateful for every triggering experience that is catalyzing your growth!
p.s. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of Alora Griffiths.