Grief is one of the most powerful Goddesses. She swallows your agony and lets it tear her apart. Beautiful birds fly from her belly—each one an insight into life and your power. Grief brings the whole flock to your window, and she waits and waits to reveal universal truths to you. She goes to the depths with you. She rises with you.
Grief won’t rest until you swallow the medicine she made especially for you, and tell her your story of death… and life.
HOW TO ABSORB THE MEDICINE OF GRIEF
- Grief messes with your focus. When she’s tap-tap-tapping on the door of your consciousness, it becomes difficult to concentrate. You’re not sure what the priorities are, not sure where to put your attention, and when you do put it somewhere, it slips off easily. Time does not feel fresh, it feels a bit stale. Launching new things feels awkward, subtly inappropriate.
- Give your self space to meander, aimlessly. Aim less. Under achieve. Be confused. As Nietzsche said, “You must have confusion in your heart to give birth to stars.” You are giving birth to a new reality. It takes tremendous resources. Healing hurts before it feels right.
- Grief is patient. Grief may operate on a time-release capsule system. She’ll let you be busy and distracted for a long period of time before she descends. She respects survival mechanisms and the necessities. So go ahead and throw yourself into work or hobbies. Just know that…
- Denying grief her power squelches your vitality. You can dream and laugh and march on, but until you swallow the bitter tea that Grief has brewed, things won’t be as vibrant or grounded as they could be. And that’s half dead.
- Recognize where you are numb. Notice the memories that ouch the most. This is the beginning of response-ability.
- Grief crystallizes in your body. The medicine will get stuck in your muscle memory and joints. It needs to circulate and be digested. You have to dance grief to the surface. Stomp. Rock. Stretch. Move without your intellect getting in the way. Keep moving.
- Grief thinks scars make for great tattoos. Accept that you’ll never be the same. Trauma marks you. Embrace how much more dimensional you’ve become.
- Someone just reminded me, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” (Maya Angelou). Grief needs to hear your story told. Speak it out to a sacred listener. Be witnessed. And then…
- Tell a new story—one that includes the description of how you healed.
Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.