Men have no problems with displaying anger, hate, fear so why not love, sadness. Why do so many men feel that to cry is to display weakness? On a phone call with his friends around many men will respond to his partner’s “love you” quietly so his mates can’t hear him, why?
If they do hear him, they will probably make fun of him. What is so wrong about a man expressing his love for his partner?
The media are likely to ridicule a sportsman who cries when he wins a big match or even if he loses a big match.
They really highlight it. English soccer commentator Gary Lineker said, “I don’t mind saying I had a tear in my eye when England won a penalty shootout at the last World Cup.” It was a headline on the BBC football pages the following day, why?
I have seen a mother run to her crying daughter who has fallen and scraped her knee to offer comfort and have seen the same mother chastise her son for being a cry baby!
Many women find it distressing to see their partner cry. Does she see it as a weakness in him or does it make her feel uncomfortable highlighting her stereotypical view? Is tenderness the prerogative of females?
Suppressing any emotion is not a healthy practice to make a habit of. This is something I learnt the hard way. It’s like leaving perishable food out in the sun all day. It will eventually become toxic and affect everybody who comes into contact with it.
Personally, as I have evolved and learned to recognise my emotions, I feel I have become a much more complete person. I think it has helped me to make decisions using my heart instead of my head.
If we all made our decisions coming from a position of love can we ever be wrong?
Oops there I go again, slipped in the L word there, that’s a whole world of ridicule coming my way! All emotions are valid whether you are male or female, don’t be scared of them, don’t be embarrassed. Embrace them, rejoice in them, don’t suppress them, let them out, they are part of you. Be a real man. Big boys do cry!
David Whatman is an ex-serviceman and former business owner who is just about to have his first thriller published. He is currently working on a second thriller and a love story. In between times he is writing an autobiographical book on the far-reaching consequences of childhood abuse combined with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and is exploring opportunities to speak publicly about the subject and raise the profile and understanding of it. Now living in Southern Spain.
Image courtesy of Tom Pumford.