It’s time to have a serious, even a little confrontational, chat today.
I’m going to call you out a little bit, ok? You can take it and it will be worth it.
You tell yourself lies to feel better about your lot in life. You almost have to. Otherwise, it would make your current existence unbearable.
Be 100% honest with yourself.
How would you answer the question, “Are you happy with how your life turned out so far?” Not the fake answer you’d tell someone else if asked, the real answer.
How do you feel about your income?
How do you feel about your relationships?
If you stood in front of the mirror completely naked, how would you feel about what you saw?
I’ve bounced back and forth between self-improvement philosophies. In the beginning, I ‘preached the gospel’ and basically told people what do to from a pedestal. Then, I swung to the other side of the pendulum and didn’t give any orders, just suggestions and insights from my life with zero added pressure for the reader.
Now, I’m right where I need to be. I’m at the point where I’m just going to call a spade a spade, tell you the absolute truth from my perspective, and let you do what you wish with this information.
Unravel the B.S. You Keep Telling Yourself
Let’s get to the truth-telling then, eh?
Chances are you want more money than you have right now.
You probably want higher quality relationships, even if the ones you have now are good.
I’m almost certain you’re not a fitness model, so you have some improvements to make in the health department.
If you genuinely believed with absolute conviction that you could be a billionaire with sick pack abs and have a network of uber-successful people to work with, you’d do it.
“I don’t care about money.” Shut up. You do.
Tell me you don’t care about money when you’re trying to catch up on the payments and accumulated interest on your mortgage, student loans, cars, and credit cards.
Tell me you don’t care about money when you’re still at the point where you have to look at prices when you’re at the grocery store or don’t spend the extra $20 on your meal at the restaurant to get the steak & lobster that you really want to eat.
Tell me you don’t care about money when your lack of money keeps you tied to doing things you don’t want and having less freedom. I’m not buying it.
“I’m not vain. I don’t need to be in the gym 24/7 obsessing over my looks.”
Looking good naked has tons of benefits — for your confidence, health, wellbeing, and self-image.
People say they don’t care about looks and aren’t vain, yet the fitness and beauty industry is the number two industry in the world behind video games.
Something isn’t adding up here.
In 2019, we’ve come to the point where people don’t tell the truth anymore. We pretend like the underlying governance of human nature doesn’t run the show. But pretending isn’t going to change what actually happens.
Why not just own up to the truth? Why not just own up to who you really are and what you really want? Why not own your ambition?
“I Don’t Want to be Selfish and Greedy”
You don’t want to be greedy and self-centered, huh?
Well, guess what? You’re already greedy and self-centered — and you always will be — but you’ve pointed that energy in the wrong direction.
Not doing what you really want to do with your life is one of the most self-centered things you can do.
Why? Because it’s the incessant preoccupation with yourself that keeps you from doing what you want with your life. You want to protect your fragile ego and sensitive feelings from failure. I do, too. Because I’m a human being.
Not exerting the most effort both for yourself and your family is greedy. You could be doing more. You’re not greedy in the sense that you’re hoarding money.
But you’re hoarding time and energy. You’re hoarding your potential. You are a total miser when it comes to your contribution to the world. People who make an impact and real income change the lives of other people. People who “don’t want to be greedy and selfish” only care about themselves.
Look, the point of this message isn’t to beat you up. Sometimes you have to make a tough pill to swallow even tougher to swallow in order to get people to swallow it.
Are you being a bullshitter?
Are you pretending like you don’t want the things you want because you think you can’t get them?
Are you putting the blame elsewhere — “society!” — when your problems have everything to do with you?
I don’t know. I don’t know you. Only you know the answer.
“You have to be lucky to succeed. Life is unfair. Poor me.”
A lot of people suffer from something called “special snowflake syndrome.”
They think that their circumstances are so unique that they can’t succeed.
After Stephen Hawking lost most of his motor functioning to ALS, he wrote books theorizing the mysteries of the universe…with his cheek. He had a machine hooked to his computer that allowed him to type by moving his cheek muscles. Writers — how’s your book coming along?
Hellen Keller — who was both blind and deaf — became one of the most famous authors in human history.
This 20-year-old South African man built a robot….out of garbage and parts he found discarded in junkyards.
I really don’t want to hear about your complaints, I’m sorry.
It’s not that I don’t think your complaints are unjustified. They’re just a waste of time.
Someone out there has both had it worse than you and went on to accomplish more than you. This is a near-certain statistical fact.
Our society is growing more comfortable throwing a giant pity party. It’s en vogue to be lazy and blame other people for your problems, even though you live in the most wealthy and prosperous time in human history, especially if you live in America.
Computers used to take an entire room of space to operate.
You now have a faster, better, and cheaper computer in your pocket. A computer that gives you access to 1,000,000,000 times more information than the Library of Alexandria.
What exactly is so insurmountable that you’re destined for average?
Nothing, except for the way you think.
As You Thinketh
It’s all in your head.
Your personality, view of the world, definition of reality, assessment of your circumstances, belief in your ability, and capability to make decisions are all in your head.
It’s not evil to get the most you can from life. It’s evil not to.
I’m not saying mastering your mindset and emotions is easy. It’s extremely difficult. But whether you like it or not, your mind is running the show. You can either become a slave to it or make it work for you.
It’s your choice.
It’s all your choice.
You have to live your life no matter what. No matter how you feel about the bluntness of this message, the underlying realities of it aren’t going to go away.
You know this.
What you choose to do with this knowledge is on you.
I’m writing this because I trust you to be able to pull it off.
Now you just have to trust you, too.
Ayodeji Awosika is a personal development blogger and the author of You 2.0. His goal is to help as many people as possible find the freedom to do exactly what they want in life. Find more of his work at ayotheauthor.com.
Image courtesy of Candice Picard.