It’s heavy in there, isn’t it?

It is as if you are carrying a whole arena

One, no one can see.

No witness to it.

Even you, you are blinded to your own hurt.

The heaviness, steals the words you wish you could utter.

There is something about the weight of it, that can mask your voice.

When we have not named our pain it feels less real.

The less real it is, the heavier it feels.

The less seen, the more impossible to carry.

And we become pain lifters.

We all suffer quietly unless, well unless someone can sit with us.

And as we sit together, the arena of hurt transitions from the unseen to the seen.

In many ways, I am sitting with you every Friday.

Finding the words that can unburden the shame, the stress of your job, your obligations, the ways you were treated, the men or women who hurt you.

The hard moments you never told anyone about.

The things you think are not worth sharing.

Especially those. 

There is so much hidden pain inside us all. This is why a good friendship can save our life. @SecondFirsts (Click to Tweet!)

A kind stranger can free us.

To be seen from the inside is the most healing experience we can ever have.

When I write to you about your hidden arena I am also revealing mine.

You see, we save each other this way.

As I am writing to you I see us sitting together on this bench.

You were the first there and I joined after.

Even just the act of sitting next to each other is deeply felt.

Like a big bang.

A big bang.

That can lift the pain arena off your heart once and for all.

Mine too.

With a lot of sitting together,


Christina Rasmussen is the creator and founder of The Life Reentry Institute, Second Firsts, and Star Letters, and the host of the Dear Life Podcast. Christina is on a crusade to help millions of people rebuild, reclaim, and relaunch their lives using the power of their own minds. Christina’s work has been featured on ABC News, NPR, The White House Blog, and She is the bestselling author of Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again, which has also been translated in Chinese and German and just released her second book Where Did You Go on expanding the mind in ways that allows co-creation with the forces of the universe. She is also writing her first work of fiction: a science fiction story about a woman on a quest to start over and begin a new life. You can find more information on her website and follow her on FB or Twitter.

Image courtesy of Harli Marten.