Despite a rise in life expectancy, diseases and other health risks remain a major concern for many of us.
In addition to striving toward long lives, we want to ensure that we are healthy and mobile enough to enjoy ourselves as we age.
Health is the new wealth! And we are putting our money behind this new mantra as health care spending has risen dramatically and is expected to continue rising until about 2027.
Don’t forget that health care spending includes things like yoga, health clubs, sports gear and counseling services. It’s all on the rise because people see the value in quality of life rather than the culture of business that we are leaving behind.
I obviously see the value in this as a professional life coach but we need to start getting strategic about how we are spending our money and our efforts.
Humans have put men on the moon, figured out how to send pictures around the world via something called “the internet,” and now somehow my car parallel parks itself.
But, mother effer, we cannot figure out how to keep weight off.
- According to S. News & World Report, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by mid-February
- American Psychological Association reports that when smokers try to quit without medication or counseling, only 4-to-6% will succeed
- WebMD states that 80% of people who successfully lose at least 10% of their body weight will gradually regain it and end up even larger than they were before they went on a diet
Those statistics are not very promising.
One of the reasons my coaching services are so successful is because people know that they are going to quit on themselves without sustained accountability. I call it self-sabotage.
How about we go into your next health care venture together and with a plan?
Self-sabotage comes in the form of procrastination, avoidance, self-medicating, stress eating and piling on.
Piling on so much that you’re so busy you can’t walk the dog; So busy that you can’t make it to the gym;
So busy you get carry out instead of making a healthy meal.
There are several reason we sabotage ourselves.
- Low Self Worth
- A Need to Control the Failure
- Imposter Syndrome
- Fear of Success
Low Self Worth
One of the main causes of self-sabotage is that people do not think they are worthy of the success they’re after.
For example, let’s say that you are on a weight loss program. You are going to the gym and working with a trainer, and after much hard work you’re down fifteen pounds!
Great! People are starting to notice the loss and have nice things to say about how you look. More than that, you feel much better as well.
Shoot. Now there’s pressure.
We start to get nervous because when people start to complement us we start to think, “Oh crap. I’m going to have to keep doing this.”
Deep down, we do not truly believe that this is sustainable. We do not believe that we can keep it up, and we do not feel worthy of the success, admiration or attention that we are getting.
In no time flat we find ourselves at home eating the cupcake our kid brought home, downing a chocolate bar and driving to a fast food place to order an entire pizza just for ourselves.
For me personally, it always starts with a box of Golden Grahams. If I buy Golden Grahams for my kids – forget it. I’m toast.
I would love to be the person telling you that you are worthy of all the success! Together we will obtain and sustain your goals because you are absolutely deserving of it all.
A Need to Control the Failure
The second reason people sabotage themselves is the need to control failure.
It’s not a failure if we quit, right?
We take ourselves out of the game by getting the inevitable failure over with. We see the train coming and tell ourselves that it is for sure going to crash so let’s get out of the way.
I am not going to let you do that to yourself. I will be there to see you dodging the pretend train and urge you to stand your ground. You got this, girl.
The next thing I watch for with my clients is imposter syndrome. We are often fearful that people are going to call us out as frauds and fakes and accuse us of not being our real selves.
Who are you to be losing all this weight?
Geez, Karen, what are you a fitness expert or nutritionist now?
During our weekly coaching talks I’m going to be able to lift you back up when others are trying to take you down.
They’re not doing it on purpose. It is a natural response to prefer consistency and fear change. They are just reacting to the new side of you that they have not gotten to know yet.
This is the new you. We will not forget the past nor wish to shut the door on it. That was who you were and this is who you are.
Perhaps they are starting to see you achieve your goals and feeling guilty about not moving forward with theirs. This is when you get to lift others up as well. You will take it all in stride, respond back with love and positive vibes and be a light in their lives.
Again, we thrive on having consistency in our lives. This is why people in toxic and abusive relationships often don’t leave or continue to go back.
They would rather stay in the nightmare and the hell that they know rather than face the unknown. They are afraid of happiness because they don’t even know what happiness looks like.
Not with me in your life. I’ve been through it. I’ve been with an extremely abusive, narcissistic man and was unwilling to leave for years. I know how scary leaving is, and I’ll be there to walk you through it. Daily if needed.
People get bored.
I see this happen all the time with my clients. Things are going a little too well, so what do they do? They incite arguments and start pushing people’s buttons.
Your husband is suddenly saying how proud he is of you and of all the work you’re doing? Better start a fight because that seems way too easy.
We love chaos. It brings us back to the feelings of fear and unworthiness that we are comfortable with.
Not on my watch. I can’t stop, it but I’ll call you out on it.
Fear of Success
I think the number one reason for self-sabotaging is fear of being who we say we want to be.
Who we want to be takes work, means change, makes us face our fears and requires dedication.
We’re not always so sure we can sustain that lifestyle.
You can! You will!
Have you noticed yourself sabotaging your own success? What have you learned about your own habit of self-sabotaging, and how do you move past it?
Brooke Collins is a professionally-trained Wellness Coach living in Rochester Hills, Michigan. Her passion is working with women who are overwhelmed and helping them get clear on their priorities by making them accountable. This holistic approach allows her to target the mind, body, and spirit so they are in-sync able to become the best version of themselves.
Image courtesy of Dmitry Schemelev.