With more liberty also comes more conflict. We live in a time when it’s easy to focus on the scandals, the left-side issues, and the right-side arguments, and even easier to take sides. People are cutting off friends and blocking each other on social networks. Cursing each other out and judging each other constantly. Self-righteousness has become the norm.
If we pause for a second, and see what’s going on behind the scenes, look for the cause, it’s all happening for good reasons.
For thousands of years we as people have had to comply within a command and control paradigm, with a way of living that was essentially forced on us. Those who challenged authorities were put to death. Today, we freely express our opinions and as a result there is more conflict.
With freedom comes more reason to develop the ability to listen, see the reason behind the things being said, and show human dignity to one another by practicing acceptance.
No one is perfect. People opt into all kinds of behaviors to compensate for pain they may not be ready to face head on. Be it something that happened as a child like the loss of a parent, or being bullied, or a number of things that would cause early life wounds to surface as adults. Those behaviors can be the cause of judgment, ridicule, and sometimes the cause of hurt for other people.
The reason for practicing more acceptance is because every one of us has done something in our lifetime, that we may not be proud of, or behaved in such a way that wasn’t aligned with who we might be today. Sometimes we just screw up. Screwing up doesn’t mean that anyone has the right to give us a life sentences as a screw up.
Just because we screw up, doesn’t mean we are screwed up.
We are evolving
Life is an evolution, and every one of us evolves at a different pace. Some people when they were younger may have struggled with drugs, sex, alcohol, anger, and other behavior that didn’t help them show up their best, all the time.
Some of these people, have since become civic leaders, spiritual gurus, great mentors, parents, grand-parents and decent human beings. Some of these peoples may have even lived duplicitous lives for years, till they came to grip with the underlying cause of their behavior.
Some of these people may have needed many decades to develop enough self-love in order to let go of behaviors that were nothing more than bandages to the deep wounds they may have had to heal.
Some may still be struggling with aspects of themselves that have proven very difficult to overcome and let go. That doesn’t make them bad people. Just humans trying to cope with the storms of life.
I talk about some of my own character flaws in my upcoming new book “Emotionally Aware Leadership”. It took me decades to get to the root cause of many of my not so great behaviors, which impacted my relationships with the people I love, and even my career.
The root cause of all our self-inflected problems is low self-worth. This is a main theme in my upcoming book, along with 11 other principles to become an authentic leader.
The point is, every one of us has had to overcome something, or may still be in the process of doing so. Yet, when a person’s behavior has an impact on us personally, perhaps someone rubs our ego the wrong way, there might be an inclination to instantly write them off as a bad person, as if we are holy and righteous, and they are not.
We need to give each other a break as people, and practice unlimited forgiveness.
What helped me to forgive more, was the realization that every time I judged someone, or held on to ill feelings towards someone, I was giving away my power to them. I was literally making them God over me. The moment I realized that, I set myself free and began to practice acceptance.
I heard one of my mentors say that the way out of hell in life… is on the other side of it. The door is just past the point of no return… only those trusting that the door is within reach, can walk through fire and gain control over everything.
I asked myself many times, what does that mean exactly?
It’s impossible to accept others as evolving human beings who are not perfect, when we don’t first accept our own imperfect human condition.
Think about that for a moment. Why do certain traits about others bother you? Because they remind you of traits about you that you don’t accept, especially those you might not even be aware of. How can you accept other people’s negative traits, if you don’t accept yourself completely first?
Two realms of reality
Ever noticed how two people living in the same neighborhood, with similar surroundings, similar socio-economic status, may experience the world around them completely different from each other?
That’s because there are two realms of reality. There are many realms of reality, but for the sake of simplicity let’s focus on the two primary causes of either a blissful life, or a chaotic one.
For the sake of simplicity let’s talk about the realm of judgement, and the realm of love.
Right or wrong exists within the realm of judgment, also known as the realm of darkness. While we think we are exercising free-will when we are making right or wrong choices, we are not… we are robotic within the realm of judgment. There is no such thing as right or wrong, there are only life lessons, and opportunities for personal growth.
Love on the other hand is the realm of acceptance and forgiveness. Love is the realm of Light. Our true free-will is only exercised when we choose love over judgment. Those are the only two choices we have which impact how we interpret everything happening in our respective lives.
Our thoughts and actions generate energy; this energy multiplies and creates a frequency. The more we generate the energy of compassion, love, acceptance, the more the frequency will get amplified worldwide for others to do the same.
The more we continue to be self-righteous, judgmental, unwilling to accept differences when people are simply practicing their liberties, the more chaos will continue to multiple.
In quantum science, every dimension is a reflection of the other. When you change just one resonance, it also reflects onto the others. The saying: It only takes one person to change the world — is true.
We exist within a ten-dimensional model, which has ten dimensions within each dimension multiplied infinitely. You and I are one element of these dimensions, but unlike inanimate objects we have something unique — consciousness.
Consciousness controls every dimension, so when we shift our consciousness towards more acceptance we begin to contribute to a more accepting, loving and compassionate reality for everyone.
There is a constant energy of expansion that takes our consciousness and multiplies it. This energy does not judge which direction our consciousness goes, it just supports what we want.
Doctrine and dogma have turned this energy into a judge of good and bad, hence why so many problems in the world, because we look at things from a place of right or wrong.
This energy we call God/Light/Universe is ready 24/7 to support what we want to manifest through our consciousness, without judgement.
Many think this energy wants us to do something for it. You cannot give the energy of expansion anything, it is constantly expanding and lacking nothing. When the collective of humanity reaches this understanding, we will begin to act accordingly towards one another; we will begin to seek to collaborate with each other.
We need to give each other a break and seek to understand each other, seek to accept our differences and imperfections, and chose love over judgment.
Life as an imperfect human being is an evolution of learning and growing. It’s a team sport that requires being willing to get dirty. Love and acceptance set us all free; judgements and self-righteousness only serve to ensnare us. Choose wisely friends.
Originally published at tulliosiragusa.com.
Tullio Siragusa is an expert level Certified Life Coach, a pioneer of disruptive technologies, an emotional intelligence (EQ) thought leader, futurist, speaker, and author. For the past 30 years, Tullio has built world class leadership teams in technology companies and startups. Tullio currently serves as Chief Strategy Officer at Nearsoft, he co-produces and hosts DojoLIVE! a platform that gives voice to emerging technology luminaries. He also hosts Rant & Grow, an entertaining and heart-centered reality podcast where each episode explores people’s personal blockages and how to powerfully move forward with careers, relationships, and self-realization by developing healthy habits. As a founding member of Radical, a social justice movement, Tullio is a strong supporter of human-dignity in all aspects of life, including freedom in the workplace.
Image courtesy of Aarón Blanco Tejedor.