When was the last time you had a ‘f*ck it’- day? A day of fully letting go?
It’s been a while, I bet.
Personally, I have been conducting my own research on this topic for a while quite regularly and have found ‘F*ck it’- Days more effective than any practice including yoga, meditation or physical exercise.
So, let me tell you what a ‘F*ck It’- Day is first, before I go on explaining why it’s so fundamental to not just your health but your sanity.
A ‘F*ck It’-Day is a day where you don’t give a f*ck, yes.
It means you turn off all your social media, don’t touch your phone and generally stop looking at your to-do-list. It’s a day where you don’t do anything that you feel you ‘should’ be doing, or you ‘have’ to do.
And if you are spiritually inclined, it’s a day where you don’t give a shit about being enlightened, mindful or aware also.
In short, you simply don’t do what your routine mindset tells you to do. You do something different, maybe new and unexpected instead. Or you f*ck that too and do nothing at all.
If you feel you have a load of washing and housework before you can go and do what you want to do, for example, you simply say ‘f*ck it’ and you go and do what you want to do before finishing all the tasks.
If you feel you are always taking care of everyone else, on a ‘f*ck it’ day you tell them, sorry, I’m busy, (thinking to yourself: f*ck them) and you go and do something fun for yourself instead.
The important bit about a ‘f*ck it’ day is that you don’t do anything that your mind had already planned or organized. It’s not choosing ‘to see a friend’ over your ‘washing or cleaning’, if seeing that friend has also been on your to-do-list.
It’s really giving your brain permission to not know what will happen next.
It’s a letting go of your structure, so you can re-structure yourself inside and let go of the rigid cobwebs of your thinking that have been draining your aliveness without you even noticing.
That’s why you can’t fake a ‘f*ck it’ day. The ‘f*ck it’ has to be real and authentic and come from deep within you.
For me, those days happen naturally every at least once a month. I feel my joy levels decreasing, I feel the tension and my resistance to having fun building inside. I know I have to honor those days and surrender because if I don’t, it gets harder to get out of my routine and I start feeling stuck and like I’m getting old.
The more you ignore your need to give yourself a break from your inner tyrant, your mind, the harder it gets.
the more you practice defying all the voices inside your head (telling you they are more important than what you need and feel in the moment), the easier it gets to break out of your self-made cage of habits.
It’s about grabbing each present moment by the balls. It’s really about practice.
What are the benefits of ‘F*ck It’ days
F*ck it days make you feel alive again.
They break up your routine and give your brain new experiences. They are fun. Fun in the way it was when we were kids. Not the ‘fake’ fun that we do as adults when we go to stupid parties and get drunk.
No, I mean fun because you have no expectations of yourself and the day and you are completely open. That openness is what helps the brain to recover from all the stress and tension you’ve been carrying from your to-do-list.
Ah, space, breath, freedom. I love thee.
Remember what having fun as a kid was like? The excitement of being so fully engaged in whatever it was you were doing that your lungs were full with breath, there were no thoughts in your mind and your cheeks were red? Your body was eager to move with no resistance. No feelings of…ah, I’m too old, oh that’s not me, I don’t do that.
No to-do lists to tug on your invisible sweater of responsibility like a 3-year-old demanding your constant attention.
So in order for a f*ck-it day to be truly effective, it has to be combined with some movement, some play. If you just stay in bed watching Netflix all day, you miss the point.
F*ck-it days are not ‘I don’t give a shit to be alive’ days.
You do give a shit, therefore, you eff off all the stuff that’s in the way of you actually feeling alive. Mainly they are thoughts and worries, the invisible promise of ticking off the never-ending list and getting a full-time blast of dopamine satisfaction.
Once I do this then I will be able to…(fill in the blank) relax, be happy, enjoy, have fun, connect, do what I really want to do etc.
It’s the carrot on the stick that’s made out of the same illusion as the steak in the Matrix. You won’t ever reach it, and even if you did, it would not satisfy.
What satisfies, however, is having regular days of being in the unknown. Days of changing the game of chasing carrots or eating steaks that aren’t real.
Days of honoring the Gods instead.
Each time you snap yourself out of your routine, you salute your makers, by acknowledging that this moment might be your last.
This might sound cliche, but if you practice it, it becomes highly addictive. The dopamine rushes through your veins not because you have accomplished anything but because you have defied the gravitational pull of 3-D trivialities. The words ‘f*ck it’ is like the red pill, your key to a dimension beyond space and time.
Those trips out of the matrix are like youth injections that liberate our spirit.
And yes, they can also get out of balance. There, for sure, is a 3-D world that needs our full commitment and engagement. That’s why I said, the ‘f*ck it’ has to be authentic. If you are just disguising your laziness, it won’t work. But if you genuinely need to empty the bucket, you will come back fully recharged for the game with more perspective, insight, energy.
Your cheeks flushed again, your breath full, feeling the aliveness pulsing through your being, you will be able to go back to your to-do-list with gusto and clarity.
Ah, yes, this is why I am here and doing what I am doing.
Ah, yes, this is superfluous and just draining my energy.
Ah, yes, this is what gives me the most joy and satisfaction and what I, therefore, need to focus on.
So if you find yourself feeling guilty to have a ‘F*ck it’-day, remember that if you don’t, you are going to die a slow and painful death of stagnation. (It sounds dramatic, but I mean it. Just look around)
And if you do take care of yourself first, you will enjoy more health and happiness.
After all, research has shown. 🙂
Kasia Patzelt works as an Embodiment Coach and is passionate about integrating our spiritual experiences into the here and now of daily life aka how to be truly heart intelligent. She is a writer on Medium and works one-on-one with people online or on the magic island of Ibiza, where she lives. www.kasiapatzelt.com
Image courtesy of Olia Nayda.