How many times in your life have you heard the famous, vague break up line?
It’s not you, it’s me.
This phrase is often used jokingly, when someone wants to avoid telling someone why they no longer want to be in their life. There’s rarely honestly that follows that line. The real version of this line should be, “It’s you, and it’s me.”
Whether or not you’re in a relationship with someone, and needing to leave, or set boundaries, the reality is that who they are is about them, and what you want or need in your life is about you.
I know too many people that struggle with setting boundaries with people they are close to- family members, co-workers, bosses, and friends. It’s easy to pretend, or let things go, because you don’t want to upset them and stand your ground. In some cases, you might even believe you don’t deserve to set healthy boundaries, and commit to living a better life for you. It’s hard learning to set boundaries, to give yourself a better chance of living a more relaxed life. I struggled for years with this.
So much of life, for so many people, is about doing for others what they need you to do for them. It’s all about what you can give, and give, and give. Some personalities will happily drain you of all you can offer, and still you give. It’s almost like a prized trait if you’re someone that will let people project onto you, and take it.
I urge you, as we near the end of this tumultuous year, to make a commitment to yourself to stop owning what other people project onto you. People act, and react, because of who they are, and because of their own journey in life. Life gets a lot easier when you become comfortable with letting people be them, and focusing on being comfortable with you being you.
They are who they are. Let yourself be who you’re meant to be.
When you feel like you’re carrying the weight of other people in your life, when you’re taking hold of things that you’re not meant to carry, remember to stop and breathe. Remind yourself that you should only carry your own stuff. You alone are responsible for your emotions, for your journey. Breathe into it, and let things go.
For our healing journey to continue, and for it to be authentic, we have to frequently remember to pause, breathe, and check in with ourselves. It’s critical that you take time to listen to your Heart, and be aware of what you’re really feeling. What do YOU want out of YOUR life? What feels right to you, and how can you make choices or changes to have those future dreams become a reality?
It’s hard to tune into all of these things when you’re more focused on how your parents don’t understand your journey, or how your boss wants you to give up your entire life to be shackled to your job. Yes, there are absolutely times when loved ones opinions are valid. But mostly, other’s opinions are about them and the life they’ve lived.
You are not them.
You are you.
Read that again, and really think about it. Everything everyone does is a culmination of the life they’ve lived up until that point, including you. Worry about you and your journey.
At the end of each day, what other people do, or feel, isn’t really about you.
Be you. There’s no one else that can live your best life but you. Letting other people in the way, caring too much about what other people think of you, it’s only going to drag you down. Respect people as they are, let them be who they are, and turn your focus into owning who you are meant to be.
Because you are an incredible piece of the universe, and you are amazing. You are beautiful. You are worthy.
Robin Lee is a medical intuitive, author, mentor, gratitude advocate, and speaker who has helped thousands of people around the world understand the language of their bodies. Robin believes that our bodies innately know how to balance and heal themselves if given proper care and support. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter, where she shares tips, tools, and techniques to honor our bodies and heal our lives!
Image courtesy of Jonathan Borba.