What if fear were just a feeling most of the time in your life?
Can you imagine how your life might change if you knew for sure that statement was true?
I am not referring to kill or be killed, fight or flight, mortal danger, fear. I am simply referring to the everyday, pedestrian, and sometimes pervasive fear that impacts your life.
In working with thousands of people over the last two decades I have seen how often decision making is driven by fear. Time spent fearfully projecting into the future about what might happen or ruminating about the past, going over what did and didn’t happen and why. And most people have fear about what others think of them.
These are all ways that your fear mind, or mafia mind as I like to call it, may just be running your life, and keeping it small. So much of the time my clients don’t realize how much of their life is being dominated by fear. They come to me, unaware that they have a choice of how to deal with their fear mind. Awareness of that choice helps liberate them, to live a much happier life, driven by desire not fear. You too can learn to recognize your fearful thoughts before they dictate your actions.
I have spent the last 17 years in my busy private practice and in the trenches of my own therapeutic process de-mystifying the mind/body connection to fear. So I want to share with you:
1. FEAR IS A JUST A FEELING (MOST OF THE TIME)
Which is great news because we change our feelings all of the time. Unless you live in an active war zone, most of the fear that you experience daily is a feeling inspired by a fearful thought about something that might happen in the future. You can change your mind, which will change your feelings, which will change your behavior.You have the power to do that.
2. FEAR CAN BE A WISE TEACHER (AND IS UNAVOIDABLE)
Most of us walk around as though someone has a gun to your head all the time. You operate in fight or flight mode. What you lose by living in this heightened state of fear, is your ability to make conscious choices. In a constant state of reaction rather than response you can lose control and may make irrational, and perhaps even dangerous, decisions.
3. YOUR FEAR MIND IS A BULLY
Your fear mind extorts the joy and happiness from your life. Fear makes you worry about what might happen if you speak your truth, follow your dreams, or open your heart. It is important to recognize and remind yourself that a lot of things might happen, and that a lot of things won’t happen. Notice how the fear mind is always trying to control you with the worst case scenario?
In order to make the shift away from a Doomsday preparation mindset, you must harness the mind blowing power of your own intention. You create what you want, the problem is most people are not aware of this. You create your fear. In most cases your fearful experience is not happening to you, but rather coming from you. However, it can be possible to co-create what you truly want through the power of your intention. The best way to do this is with a dedicated daily meditation practice.
4. MEDITATION CAN SET YOU FREE
In order to be here now, you must have present moment consciousness. In my experience, meditation is one of the most effective tools to raise awareness of your fearful thoughts before you act on them. From this awareness you have choices. You can reject your thought and change it. You can create awareness through meditation.
Even if you have never meditated a minute in your life, you can now. All you need is the desire, your tush and a couch to have an effective practice. It is the daily moments that you spend in stillness and silence during meditation that will buy you reaction time in your waking life. I have seen meditation bring so much peace to so many people, you deserve that kind of peace too.
I have no doubt that you have the power to make choices that can liberate you from the mental prison that fear creates. You deserve to live fearless and free. I ask that you post in the comments below so that you can connect with me and other readers. Share with us your experience of fear and how you plan on using the tools above to create freedom. Ask questions and ask for support, and most importantly always remember to take care of you.
Love Love Love
February 28, 2014
*Image courtesy of Kayleigh Liddle