How to Love Yourself in the Midst of Great Change
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~ Alan Watts
Some days it feels like change really is the only thing that is constant. It can be hard to hold onto a feeling of who you truly are and what is right for you.
Even when you’ve learned to alter course when needed and to take the steps that feel good. Change can still steal your breath.
Of course, every new situation brings with it the possibility for self-discovery. Because inner expansiveness, by its very nature, is new territory; it brings you to a place you have not experienced before.
The problem is that there is more involved than you might realize.
There are the times you are stretched beyond comfort. That can mean you don’t always have resources at the ready to successfully navigate through these particular waters. You run aground. You fall into agreement with someone even when you feel a resounding NO inside. Or you back away when your heart yearns to whisper yes.
What’s so different here?
When change takes you beyond where you have ever been before, everything is up in the air. Relationships. Work. Daily life.
Here is the key. You need to create different boundaries than you had before. Boundaries as in what sits in middle field and what is off track. As I have been propelled into an inner expansiveness that is spacious and replete with possibility, it has brought with it some of the hardest cycles of learning I’ve ever known. My internal landscape has exploded open (yes, way beyond stretched). In this new terrain, situations that once seemed acceptable, now shred my heart.
I am changed. What’s different? I am no longer able to hang in the wind without speaking up. The gift in all this? (Yes, there is one and I am so grateful for it.)
The courage and willingness to give voice to what I had ignored has, wonder-of-wonders, opened the door to deeper love.
Sometimes others don’t want to hear the truth that you discover. Particularly if it involves them! Struggle comes when you want them to agree with you.
Image courtesy of Jeremy Bishop.
Here’s the truth within the truth: It doesn’t matter. They don’t need to hear you. You don’t need their agreement to validate what you know in your body. That feeling of inner clarity you now feel? That’s yours. Savor it. It won’t taste the same to anyone else, anyway.
Even if you know it would free them up on the karmic registry.
Truth is your gift to receive.
Here’s why: Every single one of us has to learn what is ours to learn. We cannot learn someone else’s lessons for them. That’s just the way it works.
Where does love come in? Love is, in essence, unconditional. It is vibrational, not emotional. It flows naturally. However, there is a caveat.
You can interrupt the flow of love in a flash. Not feeling good about yourself? That interrupts love in every direction: feeling it, expressing it and receiving it. Think someone doesn’t love you enough, or in the right way? That measuring stick is a killer every time.
Pause for a moment here.
Take them out of the equation. Add yourself in as the variable instead of them. What if you loved yourself unconditionally? What if you gave to yourself exactly what you long for from them? This gives them freedom to be who they are. And you? You get to give yourself what you need. You get to express love and to receive it.
The best part? You emanate the vibration of unconditional love. What goes around does indeed come around.
And this becomes your gift to the world.
The changes of this year hold a demand for each of us to show up in the fullness of who we are, to be the light and to carry the standard for truth on high. Now more than ever.
Has it been like this for you, too? I’d love to hear. Let me know in the comments below.
Laurie Seymour is a mentor/guide, #1 best-selling author, host of the Wisdom Talk Radio podcast and founder of The Baca Journey. She helps women and men who are in the midst of great change to have a direct experience of their inner wisdom, dissolving self-doubt. Then she provides the strategies to sustain their inner connection so that they live the life they know is possible with confidence. Start now with a complimentary exploratory session (virtual tea!). Let’s explore where you’ve been and illuminate where you’re heading.
Featured image courtesy of Ben Warren.