When you’re shining bright, you’re happy, glowing, energized, inspired, passionate and expressive. You feel joy bubbling from deep within you and life is filled with love, fun, and connection. Life is good and you feel amazing, like you can take on the world.

But sometimes that light gets dimmed.

It gets dimmed by outside expectations, less than healthy meals, drama at work, gossip, small talk, too much TV and spending time with people you wouldn’t choose to on your own (because they don’t get you and  you can’t show up fully).

Life is filled with people and moments that dim our light… but what happens when these moments turn to hours, days, weeks and months? Sometimes even years? When you wake up next to someone who’s presence makes you feel so low that you head straight for the candy jar first thing in the morning. Just to feel a little bit of joy.

What happens when you go to work for another day, after many days and weeks and years working a job that stresses you out and doesn’t utilize your skills, let alone your passion? One where the people who surround you everyday are so negative that all you want to do after work is sit in your empty apartment and watch as much TV as possible. Just to feel a little bit alive.

When your light gets dimmed, you begin to shut down, shovel unhealthy foods (drugs? alcohol?) into your body to compensate for the lack of joy and pleasure. You don’t bother with things that light you up because you feel too drained to call your best friend, go to art class or hit up the gym. You just want to shut down.

So what do you do when you feel lost in the darkness of life?

You start to bring the joy and pleasure back into your day-to-day, in any way you can, even though it’s hard.

Start by noting what dims your light.

Is it the people you’re spending time with? Your job or relationship? Maybe your house just doesn’t feel like a home? Make note of what seems to dim your light. Be as specific as possible… the more you understand what drains you, the faster you can shift it!


What area or person in your life is having the most negative impact for you? This will be anything or anyone that has a direct impact on how you feel in other areas of your life. For example, work may drain you and put you in such a bad mood that your relationships are suffering, you don’t workout anymore, and you’re eating terribly. Anything that has a major impact on other areas is your priority!

You can have more than one priority, but no more than two – three, please! If you try to take on too many areas of your life, you’ll overwhelm yourself.

Create a pleasure list.

Looking at the priority area(s) of your life right now, what brings you joy and pleasure? If your light’s been dimmed for some time now, it may be hard to remember… but try.

Some examples include… calling your mom or best friend, eating a piece of dark chocolate, playing your favorite music (maybe a mini dance party?), wearing your favorite heels, going window or thrift shopping, bubble baths, trying a new recipe, going for a run (or any exercise you ENJOY), reading a good book by candlelight, documentaries, etc.

The point is to choose things that bring you joy and are pleasurable! How can you take the ordinary of your day and make it fun, joyful and filled with pleasure?

Begin to infuse joy and pleasure into your days.

Every. Single. Day. As often as possible.

How can you make the drive to work more joyful and pleasurable? Call your mom or play your favorite tunes? Maybe you need to buy that book you’ve been wanting to read for ages digitally? Fuzzy slippers and some lavender car spray?

What about the work day? Maybe you need to start dressing in a way that makes you feel amazing! Or, could you start taking picnic lunches outside on beautiful days? Hang a picture and bring in some flowers?

What about your relationship? How about taking long walks together after work and just talking? How about using the fine china and candles to make dinner feel more fun and special? When’s the last time you just made out?

Finding ways to bring more joy and pleasure into your life will instantly light you back up.
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You can always work towards making big changes in your life, such as quitting your job to travel the world, but you can also make this life — the one you’re living RIGHT NOW — more amazing than you ever could have imagined.

It’s 100% within your hands… how will you begin?

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service life purpose development, design, and branding boutique, and author of Awesome Life Tips. Through her Mastery Program, she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help men and women build passion-based lives and businesses they love. Click here to access her free Foundations for Unshakable Joy™ video training series and learn the unexpected trick to transforming your life with one single question! Connect with Stephenie on Facebook and Twitter!

Image courtesy of Personal Kaleidoscope via Compfight cc.