I had a conversation with one of my clients the other day and she asked me a question that summed up what I think so many people are attempting to do when they go after all this spiritual and self help, personal development stuff. She asked me “How can you not let things mess with your inner peace?”

I asked her to give me a second. I didn’t want to respond on impulse. I took a pause. Inhaled. Exhaled. Then, put my pen to paper and wrote down her question, How can you not let things mess with your inner peace? I paused again and asked my higher self, that still wise voice within me. I put my pen back to the paper and I got this answer…

Things will always mess with your inner peace.

It’s not that things won’t try to mess with your inner peace, because they will. It’s all about how you decide to react to the things that try to mess with your inner peace. Break-ups, a bad roommate, losing your job, a health crisis. Don’t make something that is sh*tty positive, because you think that will give you peace. Sh*tty things are just that, sh*tty, and you have a right to feel angry and messed up about it.

You have the right for things to affect your inner peace, cause, well, that’s life my friend. 

However, since it is our life and we are allotted only so much time (truly we don’t know when we are leaving this world) then it makes sense to find something to learn from when something is messing with our peace. Why? Well, why not? If something bad happens to me and I don’t get a lesson out of it, or learn something from it, it’s a bad ending to a story and quite frankly, it’s a waste of a messed-up experience.

We want to alchemize our pain into purpose and transform our wounds into wisdom, but only through accepting that life will mess with your peace at times.

Don’t use spirituality or personal development or anything to try to convince you that somehow you will be immune to life throwing you sh*tty situations or curve balls. That is unrealistic and will set you up for failure, and less peace.

If you want peace, be honest to yourself that life won’t be peaceful. @CosmicChristine
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Life will throw you people and situations that will bring you chaos. But the more you choose to see the lesson in the situation, then you know that you conquered that problem, and can rise from it. And once you do that, it is one more situation that you know you lived through. It’s that process and journey of seeing yourself NOT STAY DOWN. That is where the peace comes from.

Peace doesn’t come from the avoidance or the myth that nothing will alter your peace, or that nothing will come your way that isn’t shitty. Peace comes from choosing to know that no matter what comes your way, you will not stay down. 

And an amazing article that I read yesterday, sums this all up.

So be mindful of your energy and how many f*cks you give. Be mindful for how long you stay stressing about something, and know that this is your life, and your energy and you want to honor that. Now go out there and do some good things in the world, because things will come your way anyway.

And the more you are doing what you love, the stronger you will be able to handle the shitty things when they do come. You got this. 

And as always, share with me in the comments! I love hearing from you!

Christine Gutierrez is a psychotherapist, advice columnist, speaker, author, poet, and founder of CosmicLife.com, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live and virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. “Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is the motto. She has been featured in TimeOut NY Magazine, Latina Magazine as “The Future 15: The Healer,” Yahoo Health, Ebony Magazine, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, The Conversation, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Ricki Lake, Lifetime TV, and more. You can also follow Christine on Twitter and Facebook

Image courtesy of Damian Gadal.