1) You’re on the right path.
I’m on the right path and that feels good. Am I further than I was? Yes. Am I where I want to be? Yes. Am I where I’m going to be? No. There’s a lot more to come. But I honestly believe I’m successful now because I’m on the path I want to be on. And I started believing I was successful now when I stopped judging myself for not being further along, and when I accepted where I was.
2) You know you’re just as important and just as unimportant as anybody else.
What you want matters. It matters just as much as what other people want. And what you want for yourself matters more than what other people want for you. Is it ok for you to believe this? It wasn’t ok for me for a long time because I just didn’t believe I was as important as other people. I thought it was my job to make sure they were happy, so much so that I didn’t even think about my own happiness.
3) You move forward every day.
A tiny step or an enormous leap. If I can go to bed at the end of the day and believe, and know, that I’ve moved forward, then it’s been a successful day.
We can’t always control how much we move forward, but we can always control whether or not we move forward at all.
4) You’re kind to yourself.
How often do you judge yourself? How often do you berate yourself? How often do you speak to yourself like you’d never even dream of speaking to someone else? You’re the only person you’re going to spend every single millisecond of your entire life with. And you’re NOT going to be kind to yourself?
5) You do something you love every day.
When I had my 9-5 job, I had to be ruthless with making time to write. I’d write in the morning, I’d write in the evening, and sometimes I’d write at work. Some days I’d only write for ten minutes… but ten minutes is better than no minutes. 100 words is better than no words. If you start by doing something you love every day, you can turn that into something you do all day. There’s too much proof to believe otherwise.
6) You can spend time with yourself.
Do you enjoy being alone? If not, why not? What stops you from enjoying spending time with the person you’re supposed to love more than you love anybody else?
7) You choose productivity over procrastination.
I get asked this question on Quora a lot: “how do I stop procrastinating?” There’s not really an answer to that, because the answer is just “stop procrastinating.” The only thing that’s making you procrastinate is you. Nothing else can make you procrastinate. Yes, Facebook and TV and your phone can be distracting. But at some point, you make the choice to not work and to start procrastinating. You’re more than wanting to procrastinate, aren’t you? How long will you keep finding excuses to procrastinate? Where could you be in one year if you stopped procrastinating? Procrastination holds you back. Productivity moves you forward. That’s how uncomplicated this is.
8) You can let go of what your results might be.
If I had total control over my results, I’d be a billionaire. Because I have a book out there, and if I had total control over my sales, then a billion people would’ve bought it.
We don’t have control over our results, but we have control over what we do to get those results. Which of those deserves our energy?
Some of my writing does brilliantly. Some of it does well. Some of it does ok. Some of it does poorly. Some of it is read by nobody. But, good or bad, I’m not my writing. I’m the one who creates my writing so I can’t be my writing. I must be separate. I must be something else. I must be more.
I can’t control my results. I’m not my results. I’m more than my results. What else do you need to know to let go of what your results are?
9) You have enough.
I’ve moved back home, I’ve sold my car, and I make much less money than I ever did when I was working in my 9-5. And I’ve never been happier. Yes, I want to move out, and I will. Yes, I want a car, and I’ll have one again. Yes, I want to make more money than I did in my 9-5, and I will. But I don’t NEED those things to be happy. My happiness doesn’t depend on what I have. Not any more. That’s why, even though I don’t have much, I have enough.
10) You believe that you’re enough.
Maybe you’re not as successful as you want to be, and maybe you haven’t accomplished all you want to accomplish, and maybe your life is where you thought it would be right now… but that doesn’t mean that you’re not enough.
I knew I was enough when I finally admitted to who I was. I thought “that’s me.” and then I thought “wow… I can do all the things I want to do!” And it wasn’t a “can” in terms of capability. It was a “can” in terms of allowing myself.
I knew who I was and that was enough to know that I was enough.
Matt Hearnden is a writer from the UK. He mostly tells stories only he can tell. He blogs twice a week at www.matthearnden.com just self-published his first book:42. Matt writes every day because he loves it and because it stops him watching Netflix. And, probably more importantly, he plays basketball and has lots of tattoos. You can find him on Twitter, IG & Quora.
Image courtesy of Brooke Cagle