Effective communication is an essential component to having real, healthy love and for achieving anything you desire in your life. Think about how you communicate. First rate your level of satisfaction with your communication. How frustrated do you feel on a regular basis? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you communicate directly or do you hint and imply things?

Every relationship is a dance and communication is part of that dance. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

So if you have an unspoken agreement with your partner, friend etc. that you won’t talk about things directly, then you can become stuck in a cycle of not expressing your real desires clearly. Certain cultures believe it’s distasteful to talk boldly and honestly about different topics, leaving children to grow up into adults who stifle their feelings rather than expressing them.

In this Real Love Revolution video, Can You Hear Me Now?, I cover:

  • Why Communication is Key
  • How to Determine Your Communication Style
  • Defining Ineffective vs. Effective Communication
  • How to Begin Communicating More Directly

There are only two ways to communicate: effectively and ineffectively. Once you figure out how you’ve been communicating, you can figure out how to improve upon it. So what is your communication style? Bring to mind a difficult conversation you tried to have recently. Do you communicate directly or indirectly? Do you hold back in anger? If you were taught that being honest is rude you may be an ineffective communicator as a result. Ineffective communication is characterized as being indirect, passive, timid, or it could be angry and aggressive. It can also manifest as cryptic with an obscured underlying desire that is not being clearly expressed. Whereas effective communication is characterized as being direct and to the point. So there’s no doubt as to what the meaning is, and you’re not afraid to state what you want and why. You’re affable and friendly in the communication so there’s an openness to it, allowing your partner to also speak freely.


To better understand how you have been expressing yourself in all of your relationships, download the “Communication Style Cheat Sheet”, so you can take small steps toward more effective communication. The dissatisfaction that you feel from being misunderstood is something you can actually change right here, right now. No matter how you’ve been communicating in the past, talking about the way you feel instead of acting it out will always be way more effective.  You have the potential to be an expert communicator over time. Each step is progress, not perfection.

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

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